Horace Barton Smith

Comments I made at Dad

Below is a copy of the comments/tribute/eulogy I shared at Dad's memorial service: On behalf of our family, I wanted to echo my brother's sentiments and welcome you here today. Over the last several days, it has been humbling to see the outpouring of condolences and love to our family over social media, emails, texts, visits to the hospital, faxes, telegrams, and morse code! I think it speaks to the impact that my dad has on each of you, and the impact on the world in which he lived. A lot of you know that I am a big fan of movies, and I am always looking for interesting and exciting new stories in movies. Things that are unexpected, ideas that are original, plots that leave you hanging on the edge of your seat. I believe the story of my father is one of those compelling stories. They aren't typically told on the big screen or TV, but they are no less compelling. Coming from a small town in rural Arkansas in the midst of the depression, through World War II... my dad traveled the world later in life, made friends with almost everyone he met, and met each challenge with a smile and a grit in his teeth. A lot of you know that 2016 was a rough year for my dad. Stricken with double pneumonia, then sepsis, followed by a huge problem with his feeding tube, we nearly lost him on multiple occasions from the end of February until the end of the year. There was a movie a couple years back starring Matt Damon called "The Adjustment Bureau". In that movie Matt Damon played a young and upcoming politician with an expected career path to the White House. However, one evening at a fund raiser, he met a young dancer from the New York Ballet played by Emily Blunt and immediately fell in love. However, this wasn't part of "The Plan". See... in this movie this world was run by a creator that had a master plan for everything that should happen, and in this world, men in hats would make sure the world was following the plan by making "adjustments" to ensure that the creators plan was executed. It could be anything as simple as spilling a cup of coffee, to making stop lights turn red. (I am pretty sure these men work at the corner of Hartmann Drive and Baddour Parkway everytime I approach that intersection!) And see.. Matt Damon falling in love with Emily Blunt was NOT part of this plan and so these men worked to keep them apart. It's a really good film, and you should check it out. I am pretty sure my dad beat the Adjustment Bureau in 2016, and for the last two years, each day that I have had the chance to spend with him was... a gift. It was a gift from God, for which I will always be grateful. I would be sitting at my office and I would get a phone call from him and would say "Did you eat lunch yet?" "no, what are you thinking?" "Captain D's!! Let's go to Captain D's!!" See my dad's favorite place was Captain D's Seafood, and he would always want to go there. Now, my mom wasn't such a fan, which made it even more fun to "sneak out" and eat a lot of that golden deep fried food. I made it a mission each birthday and holiday to get him Captain D's gift cards so he could sneak out without my mom knowing where he was going! Last Monday afternoon, before all this started, he came by my office to sit and visit. We talked for about 30 minutes before he announced he better be getting back home. As he walked out of my office, our last words were "alright.. see you later son" and I was blessed to respond with an "I love you pops" as he closed the door. I really can't express to you how much I appreciated that. It was a blessing from God, and one for which I will always be grateful. While I didn't expect that to be our last words, I believe I always knew that would be a possibility because I knew the Adjustment Bureau was hot on his tail! I know there will be days when I will be sitting at my desk, and I will look at that chair, and look at that door, and I will be able to visualize that last conversation. In Deuteronomy 4, God commands that people should not forget about Him, and that these things should be taught not only to our children, but also to our children's children. Several years ago, from that bit of scripture, I was able to understand that my brother Mark and I are really not just the product of just Horace, but also the product of his father Robert. And so, when I look at Dawson, and Matt, and David, and Michael and Kristin... I see not only Mark and I, but I see Horace as well. I see their passion, I see their caring, I see their devotion, I see their work ethic and most importantly... I see the loving traits of their grandfather in their eyes, and especially in their actions. Mark had mentioned it earlier about my dad driving the old Joy Buses. For those of you that have been a church of christer for awhile, you will remember that back in the mid 70's and early 80's, our churches had developed this idea of Joy Buses. And since our church in Chicago was fairly small, we purchased these old retired school buses, and tried to fix them up so we could bring kids to church on Sunday morning. I am pretty sure it was my dad working in this ministry that etched in me... and later in my kids... the commitment to persevere in spite of whatever challenges may come. Chicago in January is not the most hospitable place when it comes to weather. It wasn't unusual for the temperatures to drop in the single digits for weeks at a time. There were numerous occasions when a late Saturday blizzard would dump feet.. yes I said feet of snow, and the temperature would drop below zero. When this would happen, dad would awake me and my brother at 4:30 or 5:00 am on a Sunday morning and like Don Quixote and 2 tired Sancho Paza's, we would set out to spar with 1968 Dodge School bus with fiberglass seats, and a 1972 International Harvester school bus with enough miles to drive to moon, and partway back. Unlike my brother and I... these old tired machines refused to wake up, and there would be my dad in his Sunday morning suit with an overcoat and gloves holding the Jumper cables stretching from either our old Chevy Vega's or our powder blue Ford Fairmont working to juice up these tired old horses. It's a good thing it was so early because there in the church parking lot would be Horace up in the engine compartment with a can of ether spraying into the carburetors, while Mark was trying to turn the key to make them go. And just like Darren McGaven aka the old Man in "A Christmas Story" (Movie Reference #2) a string of expletives that still hang over Lake Michigan to this day. And like that old man in A Christmas Story, when these machines finally ceded their positions and actually started... Victory was declared by going in the church, making sure the heat was turned up in the building, and then driving for over an hour picking up kids to bring them to church. My dad was the definition of James 2 when James says "I will show you my faith by what I do!" My dad was a force to reckoned with when you messed up too. I remember when I was in 6th grade and my dad had refereed our basketball game in Junior High, following the game, we stayed to watch the 8th graders play. I, of course, preferred to run around the gym with my friends. Well, as 12 year kids are known to do, I decided to spread my wings some and use some of that adult language I had heard spoken while hovering over a bus in 5 degree weather! Well, I turned around, and there was my dad... looking as pale as ghost... which of course made me as pale as a ghost. He said three words.... "GET YOUR COAT"... that was it.. I was done.. I was dead. I ran to my locker, tears streaming down my face, and made my way to the car. The 13 block journey from the school to home... not a word was said.. He turned the radio off, and I sat there and suffered over the whimpering cries of the inevitability of my pending death. When we arrived home... Dad shut the car off and got out. Didn't say a word.. I followed and when we got inside, he didn't get his belt, he didn't tell me to go to my room.. He said the SIX words that still haunt me to this day... "TELL YOUR MOTHER WHAT YOU SAID"... Needless to say, it would be another 6 grades before I ever uttered another curse word! I have heard it mentioned so many times that my dad "never met a stranger", and it's really true. I can't count the number of times people would tell me how much they appreciated his smile and his warmth. He was also one of the most gregarious people I know, and I like to believe I share that trait with him. He loved to tease, and he loved to laugh. I will tell you this last story before we go, and I think this pretty much sums up my dad. It was about 1980, and mom and dad decided to rent a cabin up in Wisconsin for week. We had done this several times, and in those years, believe it or not you young people.. there were only 3 channels on TV! And this particular summer the political conventions were going on, and in those days, it was gavel to gavel coverage on all 3 networks. So, we spent the evenings playing gin rummy for hours listening to either Jimmy Carter or Ronald Reagan sharing their views about the direction of the country. Included with our cabin... A speedboat! Now we didn't have skis, but we did have an old truck inner tube, which we promptly tied to the back of the boat. Mark and I would take turns riding the tube, and to be frank.. We had no idea about boat safety!! So, dad would hop in the boat and off we would go. No spotter, just dad in the boat and Mark or me in the tube. Now, we would raise our arms in triumph like this demanding we go faster!! And what response would we get? Faster he would go! That little Evinrude engine would sing! So, about 2 days in, who should come walking out to watch the tubing festivities? My mom.. so, with a little encouragement Mark, Dad and I tricked her... I mean coaxed her into the tube. Mark and I stood on the shore and off they went. My mother hadn’t really understood or realized the speed at which we were traveling in the tube. She also became terrified that she would be sucked in the middle of the tube and be dragged hanging upside down across the lake. Clearly, she didn’t understand the physics involved of tubing! She began to yell and raise her arms in terror, but Dad thought she was enjoying herself. My brother and I could hear her screams across the lake followed by the inevitable increase in speed of the boat as Dad thought she wanted to go faster! When they finally came in, my mother was livid. She climbed from the tube as red as a lobster and proceeded to scream at Dad for not stopping. He stood there dumfounded and just said, “You were waving your arms like the boys, so I thought you wanted to go faster.” Mom said a few more choice words, and stomped off to the cabin.. Dad just looked down and started chuckling until he let out a full laugh. He then told us to never tell Mom that he was laughing. I love that man and the things he taught me about marriage! I want to thank you for allowing us to share just a tiny bit of our family with you this afternoon. I have shared with some of you that my Dad ran a great race. He crossed the finish line with flying colors and we went out with his boots on. He loved and he lived... and he was loved. He laughed, and he cared until he cried. The impact of his life is felt by people from Arkansas, by people from Chicago and Wisconsin, and people in Madisonville, Kentucky. He touched and loved so many people right here in Lebanon too. I have been blessed to have several very wise mentors in my years, both on a professional level and a personal level. Back in 1996, Dad had another health scare and one of my mentors asked me... "Why haven't you told your father thank you?" I thought "Thank you?? For what?" and he said "Thank him for being your dad. Tell him what he means to you".. It took me another 15 years before I did that, and it took raising my own kids to really understand what that mentor meant. I want to encourage you.. don't miss that opportunity. Reach out to the person who has loved you, or encouraged you or inspired you. Horace Barton Smith did all those things for me, and I thank him for making me into the man I am today, and for the woman my daughter is becoming... and for the men my sons are becoming. Just so everyone knows, my dad will be buried in Jonesboro, Arkansas on Tuesday. So we won't have a traditional funeral procession exit, and for that, I am truly sorry. I was really looking forward to running some red lights!! I want to encourage you if you didn't get one to grab either Little Debbie Oatmeal Pie or a Little Debbie Nutty Buddy. These were my dad's 2 favorite Fishing snacks, and I am pretty certain you would rather eat them rather than that nasty Armour Vienna Sausages!