MAXINE LYNN CHAMBERLAIN

But I do think it’s time we give credit where credit is due. It may have taken a while to realize that I had such a big part in it. But I do remember somewhere about middle school I was figuring out that a pregnancy lasts for around 9 months , and well let’s just say as I started looking around I could not find a calendar that had nine months between Feb 28 (their wedding day) and Aug 8 ( the day I was born ) So dad I just want to say you’re welcome for that little push, it all worked out amazing.

I won’t say they had the perfect relationship for their whole lives , back before my dad knew where the barber shop was, I do know that they had their struggles. Like everyone , they had their fights and they had the occasional pot of spaghetti thrown across the room. But they always pushed through it. I have heard my dad say when asked “when did you know you loved her?” His reply was simply “there was not any one moment or time, our love kind of grew over the years”. And what an amazing love it turned out to be.

I want to take a minute to thank you dad for teaching me all these years , and still teaching me today exactly what a man is suppose to be. From being strong and defending your family to being soft and kind for your wife every single day through good and bad. Watching mom the last week or so and reading the messages or hearing the stories, I realized just how much mom deserved the absolute best! And I want to thank you for giving her exactly that. I will say that you kind of set me up though. If some day down the road I am ever in the same situation of losing my best friend first , Erin has now told me she expects me to be at her side singing to her every night.

I want to tell a story that really put it into perspective for me. It was something I really took for granite until I heard it. One day after Erin and I had moved in together we were having a conversation and she said to me “ so your parents spend a lot of time with the kids and with your sisters kids don’t they” to which I replied with “umm I guess so yeah”, and at that moment she said something that has stuck with me a since that day. Her reply was “ you know that’s not normal right” But the thing is I did not know that wasn’t normal. It was then I realized just how much effort mom and dad put into being part of their grand kids lives. It was every hockey game baseball game skating competition or even just watch them play in the back yard. My mom looked forward to every single interaction. And it was never about the money or an expensive trip. Those kids had more fun with a Dairy Queen coupon and a bag of bread to feed the animals at Rockwood park then they ever would have spending a bunch of money on something.

As I was writing this I was sad thinking about how you have a husband , a son , a daughter , a son in-law , a daughter in-law and 5 grandkids that are going to be lost without you. Cole and Cooper will not have grams talks any more Alexis will not have that person she can trust to just listen and not judge, Aleea will not have those face time baking sessions any more. And Jake won’t have you there saying settle down when he is on his 16th minute in penalties. But as days went on I have realized that there are so many more people that can be added to this list. So many young people that you have touched as they have grown up into adults and so many old friends that won’t be able to have that last cup of tea or just one more game of scrabble.

Not sure why it takes moments like this to realize some things we just take for granite, please everyone take those extra moments with loved ones and cherish them. No one knows better than me that it’s easy to get caught up in the day to day things in life and say “oh ill stop over tomorrow”, or “I’ll call tomorrow”. I promise when the time comes it will eat at you, all those moments you missed out on because …..”you will do it tomorrow”. I loved my mother more than anything in this world but my biggest regret is that I am not sure she knew that. Hold those hugs a little longer tonight and remember it may be the longest thing we do , but life is short.

I LOVE YOU MOM!!

LOVE FREDDIE XO

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The Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak at a funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears but said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own, the cars…the house…the cash. What matters is how we lived and loved and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard; are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged.

To be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile…remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash, would you be proud of the things they say about how you lived your dash?

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Hello everyone, for those of you that don’t know me, my name is Natasha and I am Maxine’s daughter. I am going to do my best to get through this, but I want you to know if any of you make me cry, you’ll have to come up and read this for me. First I want to thank all of you for coming today. My mom would be so overwhelmed with the love and support we have had over the past few days. She was a very humble woman.

My mom was born in Pine Falls Manitoba and her family moved here when she was in grade 9. She met a very special friend Linda Coyle. They have remained very close their whole lives. Linda is part of the reason my mom and dad met. See……Mom and Linda worked at KFC together and Linda played a part in getting these two soul mates together. You could say Linda was the cupid of this unbelievable love story. One that is more beautiful than any fairytale I have ever read. Anyone who knows my parents can attest to the deep affection and unique love they shared.

Mom and dad were only 17 and 18 when they met, and got married shortly after. Now, they got Married in February and Freddie was born August, I’m not going to say too much, but I am sure you can all do the math. A few years later, after trying and trying and trying, they had their second most precious beautiful child, oh wait that is me Sorry Freddie. By the age of 21, mom had two small children and one very big child! We have been told many times that mom did a great job of raising all of her children. But her greatest accomplishment may have been taming the big one.

My dad always talks about their memories and how grateful he is for my mom and how she stuck with him even during his wild years. As time went on my parents built the foundation for a family which would be so full of love and hugs. Lots of hugs!!!

My parents really brought out the best in each other. Although my mom was an incredible athlete, she was shy when she was young and my dad made sure to share his wild outgoing personality with her, and over the years, she had no choice really but to open up and be more outgoing. Dad wasn’t about to let her sit on the sidelines of life and let fun opportunities pass them by. Even when she was sick and struggled with her breathing, my dad made sure to get her out of the house and enjoy all the adventures life had to offer. We will touch on that a little later.

One of the stories my dad shared with me this week, was about a motorcycle trip they took to Laconia. My parents and their friends were sitting watching a performance, the host asked for volunteers, my mom raised her hand and everyone at the table was shocked! No one at the table would have expected her to put herself out there, but she did and dad said she won that competition.

Just as dad helped mom come out of her shell, mom would often remind my dad of appropriate social norms.

If you have ever met my dad, I can pretty much guarantee, you have experienced THE HUG. My mom would always tell him he shouldn’t just hug people without asking, but that has never stopped him. He doesn’t care if you are meeting him for the first time or the 100th time, you better open those arms and get ready because he is going to give the biggest, tightest most powerful hug. He and my mom have shared many of these famous hugs over the last almost 49 years!

Regardless of the two of them helping to better each other and the struggles they may have experienced, the have always set the standard of what a strong marriage should be. My brother and I had the best role models about what true love is and how it should look, sound and feel. Lucky we were both able to find partners as loving, caring and amazing as our parents. Although both our spouses were not big on hugs when we met, they are now real “Chamberlains” because they too don’t leave a room without giving a round of hugs to everyone.

They say the best parents get prompted to grandparents, well that they did. I just thought it was normal for grandparents and parents to attend EVERY activity their children and grandchildren participated in. I guess I should have known by looking around the dance studios, baseball fields, skating shows, hockey games, ball hockey games, football fields, basketball games, talent shows, and (all the ones I am forgetting), that this was not the norm. Even when my sister in-law started playing touch football or ball hockey, my mom and dad didn’t miss a game. Didn’t matter if they were watching their own children, grandchildren or all their bonus grandchildren, they were the biggest fans no matter what or who they were watching. They even traveled with these activities. Going to tournaments or competitions and booking hotels to make sure they didn’t miss a thing.

As my mom struggled more and more with her breathing, and she was unable to be there in person, she would watch the live streams for hockey. One day she had Cooper’s game on the ipad and Jake’s game on the tv, because they were playing at the same time and she never wanted one grandchild to feel more important than the other. Even at Christmas if she spent $5 more on one kid, she would go find a small $5 gift for the rest of them. She would NEVER make one grandchild feel more loved than another. Even with my own children growing up in Manitoba and my brothers kids growing up in New Brunswick, my kids never felt like their relationship with gram was less than their cousins. Mom would face time them weekly. Once she even face timed Aleea to bake cookies together. Technology allowed their relationship to stay strong even across the country. Each summer my kids and I would pack up and move back to NB for 4-8 weeks. Never getting tired of the time we spent together. Treasuring each day and making every memory we could pack into a summer vacation. This would include, but not limited to; Painting rocks, playing cards, (Skip Bo with Cole was a favorite), going for walks around the Rez, Nature park or in any forest they could find, baking, colouring, playing TV bingo, playing school, house or story as she pretended to be Caralynn and Alexis would be Sarah. Sleepover, after sleepover, with one of her grandchildren or all five of them. Picnics or fishing at Lily Lake or Rockwood Park, the adventures were never ending. And in true mom fashion these memories were created with little to no money spent. She gave her grand children the gift of time, which is something money can’t buy and something they could hold onto forever. Memories they wouldn’t be able to forget even if they tried.

Now I know this is like the eulogy that never ends but I couldn’t end without a few fun facts about my mom and a few of the lessons she taught me.

1. NUMBER 1- Never judge someone if you haven’t walked in their shoes. My mom was the most compassionate woman and I am so glad she taught me how to be compassionate and think of “why” people act the way they do, instead of judging them for their behavior.

2. NUMBER 2 Pay it forward- My mom had the kindest heart. I remember one day she and I were putting out the recycling at the McAllister Mall. We ran into a lady and she told us a story about not having anything and feeling lonely. That is another long story, but the point is my mom and dad had put together little bags to hand out during Covid, giving them to people who were less fortunate. They had a gift card for Tim Horton’s, well my mom was worried they wouldn’t be able to use it as you needed a mask to go into the stores. So they put a mask in each bag along with some gum and candy. Just small items, to fit into a sandwich bag. That day mom and I ran home, grabbed a baggie and took it back to the lady. Who was so grateful.

3. NUMBER 3- Always look for a good deal and stretch that dollar. –mom was the best at finding amazing deals. She would often sit and flip through each flyer, looking for all the sale items. Then she would write them all down and set out to pick up each item at different stores. I always thought she spent more in gas driving around then she saved, but my mom wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t worth it.

4. NUMBER 4- I got a coupon for that- anytime we would go to eat, mom would open her purse and let us know it was full of coupons! You can bet she had one for wherever we were heading. McDonalds, Subway, it didn’t matter.

5. Number 5- How to pick a great movie- Okay she didn’t really teach me this one, but any time the kids were all together and they wanted to watch a movie, gram would pick. This would prevent 5 kids from fighting over what they wanted to watch. EVERYTIME, she would pick the best movies.

6. Number 6- Friends for life- mom taught me the importance of great friendships. If you were a friend of my mothers, you were a friend for life. Many of her closest friendships lasted 45 years or longer! You name it my mom had a friend for that! Friends to play cards with, to go dancing with at the 30 up club, motorcycle adventures, shopping trips, line dancing or Zumers, the occasional bingo game, scrabble partners, Friday night chat sessions, friends for trips to NYC, Florida or bus trips to Nashville.

One of her closest groups of friends were the Hens, as I like to call them! This was a group of women who started getting together in 1976. I just thought “hen parties” (as they were called) were a normal thing women did. They would meet once a month, and someone different would host. I always loved when it was mom’s turn, because she would have some awesome snacks left over. In the summer these ladies would put together the memorable Family days. Pretty sure I nailed the talent show at the Jordons’ one year with my rendition of “Girls just want to have fun”. In the winter everyone would pack up a thermous of hot chocolate and we would go to the airport hill to go sliding. Where it would be safe to say it would end with blood or a concussion. This group saw many come and go over the years but the, original 5 as I like to call them, still try to get together when they can.

7. Number 7 Funny things my mom would say- My mom loved to make us laugh with her sense of humor but the most laughs came when she would try to say things like, wifive, the costcos, I wonder what is on netflex, or just listening to her try to say words like ambulance, tiger, sarday. She had this half Manitoba, half New Brunswick dialect.

8. Number 8- Secret keeping-I have been told by many that my mom was a vault when it came to keeping her friends secrets. If you wanted to share something and didn’t want others to know, you just told my mom. I believe this to be true of things I told her as well. As my dad and I spoke of my mother this week he told me she was his best friend and secret keeper

9. Number 9- Love all the kids- As many of you know my mom worked at Cochran’s daycare. She cherished the time she spent with her coworkers and all the children she spent her days with. Mom loved all children, I can confidently say I got this one from her!! When my mom’s health prevented her from doing her job at the daycare, that didn’t stop her from spending time with kids. She “adopted” many of the children that came into her life through family and friends.

10. Number 10- The best memory- again didn’t get this one from my mom, but it is still a story worth sharing. My mom could remember just about everything, but not without a story. For instance if she was trying to remember a license plate 539 AAP. She would say well I have 5 grandkids and if you subtract the girls from the boys that would be 3 and well Tash has lived away for 9 years and then A for Alexis and A for Aleea and P for Pennell. So ya it’s 539 AAP. And just like that everyone’s mind was blown.

11. Number 11- Gift giving was her specialty- my mom had a special knack of picking the most thoughtful and meaningful gifts for everyone. Each gift came with great consideration as she really thought about what people would like. Even in the end, when she couldn’t get to the mall she would spend time shopping online. Like a lot of time shopping online! The Amazon deliver person might have become her most frequent visitor.

12. Number 12- Tea was always ready- didn’t matter what was going on, if someone stopped by she had tea or coffee ready for company, always greeting them with a smile and a hug.

I could honestly go on forever about how amazing she was, but I think there are a few people falling asleep in the back. So I will start to wrap it up by saying the most important part of all this, is mom was an incredible wife, mother, grandmother, sister, aunt and friend.

She was very special to so many people and she touched the lives and hearts of countless friends and family members during her time on this earth. I strongly believe she will continue to have an enormous impact on everyone as we remember and cherish all the fond memories.

Mom was known for putting everyone’s feelings and needs before her own. Even in her final days she wanted to make sure my dad, brother and I would be okay. She told me she wasn’t afraid to die, she was just afraid to leave my dad alone. Again, the most incredible love store you will ever hear.

I read a quote that said “my mom taught me everything, except how to live without her” and while living without my mom is not a journey I am looking forward to, I know that although she didn’t teach me this, she prepared me to do it with grace, strength and bravery.

Thank you mom, I’ll love you for the rest of my life!