The Best Woman I’ll Ever Know
My mom was my best friend. She was an actual angel - the sweetest, smartest, funniest, cutest lady I’ve ever known. I was so attached to her as a smol child that she used to have to peel me off of her body when she tried to drop me off anywhere and I’d cry until she came back (I eventually grew out of this… thankfully for her sanity). Many people would describe her as soft spoken but she wasn’t around me. We would laugh big laughs until we cried. As my dad likes to say, I have the mouth of a sailor sometimes - he’s not wrong, especially when I’m being goofy. Mom would always come to my defense when dad would get tired of my swearing. “Oh Jim… she’s just being funny,” she’d say as she laughed. She just got my dumb sense of humor. We had our own weird way of communicating. She’d answer the phone and we’d usually just make unintelligible noises at each other for a while. I have no explanation for it. I’d text her, “Doing?” and she’d say, “Dis” and vice versa. Sometimes that’s all we’d say that day. No elaboration, just our way of checking in. I’ve called her Bob forever because when I have a cold “mom” comes out as “Bob.” She was in my phone as Bob. I wrote “To: Bob” on all her Christmas presents and every card I ever sent her. I always giggled thinking how confused the florist must be when I would request that they write “Happy Bob’s Day, Bob” on her Mother’s Day card. She was my Bloody Mary buddy. I think I could fill an entire photo album of us drinking Bloodys together. I would call her with questions about everything because she was good at everything. Questions about life. Gardening. Decorating. Cooking. Baking. Needing her advice. Needing her recipe for the 100th time for her banana bread, chocolate chip cookies, soups, chicken parm, all the Christmas cookies… her recipes for everything were the best, although mine never turn out quite as good as hers because she was much more patient than me and put love into everything she did. Every morning for the past two weeks I’ve woken up and for a split second it feels like it was just a horrible dream. When I realize it wasn’t, I’m reminded that I’ll never be able to talk to my best friend again. I thought I’d be her age when I was having to deal with this. It still doesn’t feel real and I don’t know that it ever will. I am incredibly lucky to have had the honor of calling that amazing woman my mom and am so grateful for getting to spend almost 32 years with her… but I am so fucking pissed for all of the time with her that was taken from me way too early. I love you forever and will miss you every single day for the rest of my life, mom.
