Eulogy of Andy Stojkovic “There’s only one thing more precious than our time, and that’s who we spend it on.”– Leo ChristopherI am Tyler Sumak, Funeral Director here at Markey-Dermody and I am reading on behalf of Andy’s niece, Vicki who was unable to be physically present today. My deepest condolences to Andy’s brother Nick and sister-in-law Virginia. I know this has been an especially difficult week for you. Born on the First of February 1934, Andy was one of nine children. He was born into a life of poverty, which would bring him hardships that made him the strong, courageous, hard-working and independent man he became. At just sixteen years old, Andy and his ten-year-old brother, Mika were tasked with tending the family farm. Two little boys worked diligently, keeping the fields, tending to animals including replacing horseshoes in a joint effort and enjoying an occasional horseback ride when they were exhausted. They had recently lost one sister in a horrific train accident, coming home from her high school graduation. Times were tough and dad was away for trying to make ends meet. Their eldest brother, Antun was away in the army and mom had died of a broken heart, while the sisters carried on her legacy raising the children. In 1957, Andy fled communist Yugoslavia for a better life. Settling in Canada, Andy built a life for himself, proudly working at Dofasco, but always remained a devoted provider for his family back “home”. Andy never married, nor had children of his own; but he surely adored his nieces and nephews as much as they loved him. When asked if he would ever marry, without hesitation he always replied, “If I find someone like Virginia”, his beloved sister-in-law and wife to his baby brother, Mika. I assure you he never ate as good as when he visited us in “Detroit”. His endearing words speak to the woman you are, Mom.My sister, Judy and I, can still feel the excitement of the almost always, unexpected phone call that Uncle Andy would be visiting that day or the next. We watched the driveway for that 1964 navy blue Chevy to pull in. He’d unpack his leather overnight bag and we’d anxiously await the plastic grocery bags of butterscotch candy and one giant bag of licorice. He led a simple life, living in the same boarding house on Depew Street for many years. The home where he lived upon arriving from Croatia, rented a room and eventually shared that room with his brother Mika. On to his humble apartment on Hilda Avenue and finally, to his room at Abington Court Retirement Home (which he hated so much).
Andy only owned two cars in the more than sixty years he lived in Canada. He loved to travel “home” to Croatia, the Adriatic Coast, Cuba and Mexico --- and enjoyed visiting our family in “Detroit”. He learned to sew, type and ballroom dance, yet held those talents close to his heart. He could be found painting apartments in the complex where he lived, playing cards in Gage Park, riding his bike or people-watching and visiting friends at Fortino’s. He was known to sometimes take a nap sitting on a bench, wearing sunglasses so no one noticed him resting. Above all else, he loved spending time visiting with family. A few summers ago, we treated him to a weekend in Niagara on the Lake. We rented a home to celebrate my dad’s 75th birthday. What greater gift we could give than uninterrupted time and memories being made with your brother. Uncle Andy was 81 at the time and enjoyed every minute jumping in the swimming pool with my kids. Our family spent days praying with and for him while he laid in his hospital bed under inhumane and barbaric care. We were blessed to share loving and comforting words with him by video chat the day before he passed. The very last word he muttered was “brother” in Croatian. He knew who was speaking and I am so glad he waited for mom and dad to arrive before God took him home that night. I will always remember the sound of his raspy voice, his bright smile, excitement in his heart each time he would see us; and a heartfelt, “Thank you for coming to see me.” each time we visited him. I feel so blessed to have memories we can cherish all the days of our lives. ANDRIJA -You were tasked with more responsibility than you could have ever imagined. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. MOM -You worked meticulously and tirelessly to ensure Uncle Andy always enjoyed himself when he visited. You cooked him the best meals and although he always said, “too much food”, he enjoyed every, last bite on his plate. He always had the most comfortable bed in the house, even when it meant kicking Judy out of hers. You spent years not knowing half of the conversation that was going on in your home, but I’ll never forget how excited Uncle Andy was to surprise you and dad at your 40th anniversary party. DAD -
We’ve spent the past two years, making more road trips to Hamilton than we can count on both our fingers and toes. Time in the car that I’ll always treasure. You’ve shared stories that are forever imprinted on my heart. You have no idea how much Joe, Judy, Tony, your grandkids and I wanted to be with you and mom today. There is no brother more faithful than you. Nearly-eighty years old and you were making day trips from Michigan to Hamilton; just to ensure Uncle Andy was ok. Just like he wanted the best for you, by sending you to Windsor for a better job and a better life, you’ve taken care of him, and protected him in ways he once took care of and protected you. The blood, sweat and tears you’ve poured into worrying and wanting the best for your brother, will never be forgotten. You knew Uncle Andy’s silly side; pretending to be a ghost in a tree when he was a young teen in Croatia. You knew his stubborn side; never being able to convince him to move closer. You knew his generous side; always caring for and sending money “home” to Croatia to ensure the family was taken care of; even buying a tractor to make farming easier. He had purchased granite slabs, photographs and monuments to ensure the family graves were a beautiful place of solace and memorial to your parents and siblings you both loved and missed so much. You knew him better than anyone else on this earth. He was your big brother, a father-figure and your best friend. We may never understand why God took him so tragically and suddenly, but we do know he’s home with your mom and dad who he’s missed so much; and siblings he longed to see again. The week before his accident, I had pulled out the watch my Uncle Andy gave me when I was battling Cancer. The battery had stopped. To me, that will always be a sign that Uncle Andy’s life was about to stand still. Much like the freedom he sought when he left Croatia, Andy sought freedom from his retirement residence. Without a doubt, he left that cold and rainy Sunday night, seeking to regain his independence. At 86, he was as strong and courageous as he was every day of his life. Find comfort remembering, the very last night he walked this earth, he spent it doing what he loved most. I have no doubt it was the freedom and peace he sought after having his independence unnecessarily stripped from him more than two years ago. He strolled the streets of Hamilton, perhaps stopping to enjoy the quiet of the park. A meaningful life is not about being rich, being popular or being perfect. It’s about being real, being strong, being able to share ourselves, and to touch the lives of others. Andy will always be remembered for his immeasurable sacrifices, and his golden and generous heart. He gave to his family and never wanted anything in return. When we look back on Andy’s life, giving and caring for others were pieces of his profound purpose. Andy always found more joy in giving than receiving. He taught us to give unconditionally and to humbly accept gifts from the heart. He will be dearly missed by all who knew and loved him.Our family has a new guardian angel. I have no doubt he will care for and protect us, the way he did, every moment on this earth. Uncle Andy, we will love and miss you forever. May God bless you and hold you in his loving arms. Until we meet again, we will hold you in our hearts.