Dorothy (Dot) Ellen Italiano (Nee: Lovell)

I am acutely aware of the great sadness we feel knowing this is our farewell to a very loving wife, mother, grandmother, sister and friend of all of us but I want to really make this tribute to Dot a celebration of her, and the life she lived. I must point out to you all I never thought I would need to farewell 2 of my siblings who have suffered the same fate. It is now almost 15 years since we said “goodbye” to Roger.

How does one celebrate a life on such a sad and emotional day? Today I want all of you to reflect on the Dot we knew, and the relationship each of us had with her. I’m sure as we do the majority of us will all have a wry smile as we recall the sparkle in her eye, her beaming smile, her sense of humour and the way she brought happiness, laughter and love to us all. So today I want express my gratitude that Dot was my sister, my friend and talk about her warmth and the character she exuded.

From a very early age Dot or “Babe” as she was then known, was full of energy, always active

and very playful. Being only 14 months younger than Roger they were often together and naturally connected. But they doesn’t mean it was always in agreement. One of the stories of these two occurred when we lived at Moorleah near Wynyard. The two of them set out from the house to find Dad and & Jack who were digging potatoes on the farm. On the way, they encountered a whip snake. By the time they reached the adults they were holding the snake, one end each but still arguing over who should hold the head and who should take the tail.

Jack was a very close family friend. He was a bachelor and always spoilt all us children. But there was no doubt that in a family of mostly boys that Dot, the younger girl was his favourite, his “pink-eye.” Any of you that knew Dot would have at some time heard stories of Jack as he was also our source of sweets and treats. He had us all convinced that at his home he actually had a tree that grew Crunchie bars, our favourite chocolate.

Dot first started school at Boat Harbour before moving to Forest and then later to Smithton High

School. It is fair to say that academic life was not Dot’s passion and school for her was mostly about sport and social life. Her energy, enthusiasm and commitment meant she was always involved, especially in netball and basketball. Dot really was a great team player and this became

more evident later in the way she lived her life. She always involved everyone around her and the impact of her presence in any group was always positive.

During her school years a life-long friendship began with Gaylene. These two were almost like twins, inseparable, similar and full of fun enjoying life. They spent most of their spare time together, played sport together and even danced at the local Mawbanna Hall Ball. Countless holidays either camping at Brickmakers Beach, at the shack at Edgecumbe Beach, National Fitness camps at Port Sorell or representing Smithton High in sport teams created a very strong bond. They really were “in-sync” and this friendship endured the tyranny of distance through the whole of Dot’s life.

During this part of her life, being clean and tidy was one of the less important parts of the day. Other things were always more important. A typical example was Mum finding sandwiches in her school bag under her bed at the end of summer holidays, having been left there since the end of last term. I can still picture the colour - they were black!

Another hallmark of these years was Dot’s sense of fair play and justice. She always offered support to anyone she thought was being treated unfairly. Their battle became her battle. This created a number of incidents in Dot’s life especially with our school bus driver who was not a very popular. It lead to her often being in conflict with him. There were a number of visits to the principal’s office, and a few times Dot was put off the bus to walk home. But he never broke her spirit and I do recall one incident when she stood up for another school friend. As the driver put her off a long way from home, she took a box of confetti from her bag and showered him and the bus. I’m sure it was very painful for him to clean that up.

We lived at Crayfish Creek for most of her school years and after leaving our farm to be at the beach, our lives took a dramatic turn. But Dot’s response was to teach us younger boys to swim. She absolutely loved being at the beach, in the water, jumping from the bridge, riding bikes or driving Dad’s old work car. She enjoyed taking Roger’s Corolla for a spin whenever she could, with Hot August Night blaring and her foot flat to the floor.

I always admired Dot for her bravery or perhaps lack of fear. After leaving school and commencing a nursing career she hitched a ride home from the Mersey Hospital in Latrobe because she had no other transport. Then she came to Canberra for a weekend and never came home. Mind you, this was not without a fair degree of controversy for her in that she was still quite young and it was definitely a very bold move at that time. All through her life Dot’s approach was all about what we can do, or what we can make of this situation, not envious of things she didn’t have or of the life some-one else has. Forever pragmatic, practical, determined and with a “glass half full” perspective on life, Dot never let anything get her down. She was always comfortable in her own skin and what ever she had she would always be happy to share.

Not long after settling in Canberra, Dot discovered her absolute soul-mate and life-partner Joe.

This partnership became her pleasure and purpose for life itself. There were many incidents, anecdotes and adventures as we all came to know this bike-riding Italian footballer that had the same humour and sense of family as her despite coming from disparate backgrounds. They became a great team offering each other the love and support through all the challenges life provides.

I will ask Bec to continue their life story from this point but there is another period I need to make particular mention of. Three years ago Alexis and I moved to Canberra with work and Dot was thrilled to have another member of her family living here. Dot had been here for more than forty years at that point. For her, it was such a new adventure and the assistance she provided, her advice and her insight of Canberra was so valuable and important to us. It really was a special time in our lives that we miss so much.

Before handing over there are some things I hope you will take away today and keep in your heart as I will in mine. I want to thank you Dot, the world was a much better place when you were here with us all. I want to thank you Dot for all the times you have played host to not only each of us but to all of us. I want to thank you Dot for simply being you. To be in your presence was warming, enriching and a time of laughter, love, great food and wine. I want to thank you Dot for everything you did for everyone else, both family, friends, neighbours, schools and lots of other people I can’t name here. I want you to know Dot the example you set, the way you fought this last battle has inspired all of us. Most of all Dot, we really had a great time while we had you here.

Eulogy from Rebecca Kearns

To say that Mum was exceptional would be an understatement.

From my earliest memories she has been, and remains to be the kindest, resilient and most generous person I know.

Mum always saw the good in life, through the simplest of things. She found so much joy in spending time with the love of her life Dad, her grandchildren, her family and friends. She never sought beyond her means because she was always genuinely happy being with those she loved and who loved her.

She was an organiser, whether it was working at my primary school, running canteens, fetes, activities, coaching netball, organising parties, I think anyone here who attended her amazing Christmas parties would agree, no one quite throws a Do like Dot.

Not only could she throw a party, she was also the life of the party. She loved a chat, a laugh and a good glass of wine to accompany. Her laugh was infectious. She loved to dance, which started from a young age at the Mawbanna dances, deciding with Gaylene who would be dancing the role of a girl or a boy. She loved throwing dinner parties and could whip up a 3 course meal with scraps she found in the fridge without anyone knowing otherwise. If I had a complaint, it would be that she sometimes didn’t taste test her baking, which led to an abruptly halted meal when she accidentally replaced the sugar in a sticky date pudding with salt.

Mum was kind, there was not a bad bone in her body. She was forgiving and was extraordinary at viewing an issue from all perspectives involved, which led to her being incredibly empathetic and a thoughtful judge of any situation where advice was required. I have never seen her hold a grudge, and she always made time for family and friends. She would share her free time so willingly, often giving up any spare day or moment she had to come over and help with the kids, fixing up the house, catching up on washing. I don’t know where she found the energy, but she always had it in spades.

I am grateful to Mum in so many ways. One of those unexpected reasons was the life she nurtured for me. Not just as an unconditionally loving Mum, but as someone who embraced those around her and held an open home for those who would become my closest friends.

I can stand here and say that my children’s godparents love my Mum nearly as much as I do, and have grown up treating our house as if it were their own. Mum has more than once walked into the boys, raiding her fridge, and she always enjoyed making them after school snacks. Or having Emily turn up before school in the morning to get her hair braided, a joy which I denied Mum, which thankfully Em picked up the slack with. She would hang out to catch Rose, and would not only love hearing about her apprenticeship, but then share with her friends how excited she was for her.

More than once, our mates would join us for Christmas lunch or afterwards, because they knew they were always welcome, and they also enjoyed Mum’s cooking and Dads grog cupboard. Growing up the house was constantly filled with kids, The Portway’s, Dyriw’s, Davis’s, school friends and family friends, Mum loved having all the kids together and loved each of them. And in turn, provided me with a wonderful childhood, and friends who I am blessed to share my life with.

Mum also had, for many years before we married or even dated, had a special fondness of Ryan. I remember her telling me at 17: ‘That Ryan boy is lovely, you should really bring someone home like him’- I didn’t tell Mum that I had been working on that for several years prior to no effect. And equally so, Ryan loves Mum. She and him have always shared a great friendship, and it has been bought to my attention by Ryan on several occasions that I would potentially benefit by approaching things in a more Dot-centric manner.

But my Mum’s great loves, were her grandchildren. She will always be the most brilliant and loving Nan to Joey, Lucy and Eddy. She enjoyed having them with her, sleeping over and finding special and interesting activities to take them to, like the hot air balloons, the little train, the zoo, or if they were really lucky, Aldi. And boy do they love her too. Their relationship, albeit too brief, is filled with love and memories and joy to last several lifetimes. Joey speaks so fondly of sleep overs with Nanny, getting to jump in her bed. He also pointed out that Nanny makes the best birthday cake for him. The last one being a Mario cake she made, about a week before she went into hospital for her second brain surgery. Not once did she complain, she always just got on with things and would drop everything for those she loved.

I see Mum every time I look at Lucy, which brings mixed feelings. She has inherited more than her fair share of Mum’s energy, chattiness and ability to party late into the night, whist waking up fresh very early in the morning. Mum could throw a New Years party, hit the sack at 3am and be up at 7 with the whole house sparkling clean before Dad and I could roll our way down the stairs hours later in a sore and sorry state. Eddy was blessed to be in the presence of his Nan, and you can be sure with the amount of stories we all have on Dot, some good, some bad, all hilarious and brilliant, he will grow up knowing her as the absolute legend and treasure she is.

Although her passing is soon and seemingly unfair, Mum truly enjoyed every day she lived. Throughout her diagnosis and battle, she never once complained. It only took her 4 Days after her first craniotomy to take the kids to the park, because she refused to let her diagnosis define her or get the better of her. She beat the odds, with a smile, and remained strong, resilient and calm throughout.

Before her diagnosis, Mum lived a full and healthy life, filled with joy. She enjoyed travelling, so much that she would withstand Dads aversion to it, making sure to countdown to him every take off and landing. Mum made us better people and we are so thankful to have had her in our lives.

She had only been in hospital twice prior to being unwell. Once to remove her gallbladder, the other to have me. You could say both instances were to remove objects of potential annoyance.

I would be remiss to not mention my Mum’s love for Dad, and his love for her. They could be found doing everything together. The basked in each other’s glow and it was clear to all that they were made for each other. Dad’s care of Mum during her illness was never a chore, as spending each moment together was filled with more blessing than sadness.

Mum had the most wicked sense of humour. And I know her practical nature would not want to cause a stir or a fuss. But she was, and will always be the shining light in our lives. A light that remains with us always.