The Grimes Clan

Long before I came into the picture, there was Reuben LeRoy J. Grimes (Roy), who was born on May 17th, 1895. He served in World War I where he was charged with repairing telegraph lines, which often left him exposed. He was wounded in action in France, in his case suffering a mustard gas assault, and was awarded the Columbia Accolade (the precursor to the Purple Heart) which still hangs in our home.

After he returned home to Dubuque, Iowa, he became sweet on a beautiful German girl, Margaret Helen Genz. Margaret was born on February 7th, 1896, and immigrated to the US when she was 9 years old. In those days in Dubuque, the Irish and German populations had their own parts of town, and it was advisable to stay in your own area. This proved a problem for the Irish boy and the German girl he was sweet on, and due to Roy’s persistence, he sustained a few beatings for being in the “wrong part of town.”

The sweethearts were undeterred, and as a consequence were married on June 16th, 1920.

Roy was an engineer on the Milwaukee Railroad, and Margaret stayed home to raise their family. Which brings me to:

Donald Joseph (Don) - born March 7th, 1921

Raymond Peter (Ray) - born February 13th, 1922

John Wallace (Wally) - born May 2nd, 1923

Margaret Mary (Maggie) - born October 14th, 1927

Virginia Mae (Ginny) - born June 22nd, 1929

Elizabeth May (Tootie / Toots / Liz) - born October 29th, 1930

Sadly, though not uncommon for the time, there were three miscarriages (all boys) between the births of Wally and Maggie, which worked in my favor since maybe they would have stopped having kids before Maggie came to be.

The Grimes Clan (as they were called) were all incredibly close, and despite growing up during the Great Depression and enduring many moves and times having to do without, their childhoods were filled with love, antics, and great memories. Maggie began chronicling those times before I was even born, and I’ve included her work in the Media section which runs through late 1948. I wish I had found it earlier, before her death, as I would have encouraged (insisted on) her to continue.

All three boys served in the Pacific Theater in World War II and, miraculously, all returned home safely at the end of the war.

The entire Clan lived amazing, joyful lives. They each accomplished amazing feats, though none, I’m sure, would rate on a national or global scale. Still, the amount of love and happiness their lives generated could not rank lower than “tied for first.” There were ups and downs, good times and bad, but the Clan remained as close as is possible for the rest of their lives.

Don married Lucille P. Ruh on June 30, 1945, and they had six children. Lu died on December 11th, 2002, and Don followed on March 30th, 2003.

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/62462815/donald-j_-grimes

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/154282172/lucille_p-grimes

Ray was ordained a Catholic priest on May 19th, 1955. He served in Colorado, staying even after his official “retirement” so that underserved areas could have a local priest. Ray died on September 12th, 2017.

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/185682854/raymond-peter-grimes

Wally was married to Grace Isabel (Lessor) for 56 years, and they had seven children. Grace died on April 25th, 2001, and Wally followed on January 3rd, 2012.

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/116782420/john-wallace-grimes

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/116782387/grace_isabel-grimes

Maggie married Thomas Kieffer on July 1st, 1961, but they divorced in 1971 after which she moved back home. Maggie had one child (me!). Maggie died on January 23rd, 2025. She was the last of the siblings to depart this reality.

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/278783443/margaret-mary-kieffer

Ginny stayed at home to care for her parents as they were aging. She never married, but after Maggie moved home the three of us were a family. I could not have asked for better circumstances! Ginny died on August 21st, 2000.

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/68921662/virginia_e-grimes

Liz Married Raymond (Mony) Vega on August 9th, 1952, and they had six children. Liz died on August 31st, 1996, and Mony followed on February 25th, 2001.

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/6727659/elizabeth-m-vega

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/6727667/raymond-michael-vega

They were preceded by their parents. Roy died on December 21st, 1972, and Margaret followed on April 10th, 1978.

If you followed the QR code on the grave, you’ll know that Roy and Margaret, Ginny and Maggie all lie under your feet. I will join them here when my time comes. I will love them forever, and miss them desperately until we are reunited.

Maggie was pregnant when she was divorced. She never told Tom about the pregnancy, and moved home with her mom and dad and Ginny. I was born into that family on August 10th, 1971, Raymond Grimes Kieffer. I was named after Maggie’s brother Ray, and from that day the designation “Big Ray” and “Little Ray” came into common use. Most often though, I was just Scoots. Maggie was 44 (almost 45) when she gave birth to me in 1971! I was born a month early via C-Section as I guess I really wanted to be a Leo. From that time on, the three of us (Maggie, Ginny, and I) were a family. Grandpa (Roy) died when I was one and a half, and Grandma died when I was six and a half.

My life could not have been happier, and I plan to take a cue from my mom and continue to record and upload the specific stories of our lives together. As an only child, I am now the last survivor of that life, and my aim is to leave a record for no one in particular simply because that life was so beautiful that the lore of it deserves to be preserved. A simple life that answered the meaning of the universe.

The overview is simple…once I was in, I never left home. I could (and did) say that I stayed due to Mom and Gin’s age when I graduated High School, and that I was needed to help out with the house, and then, as Ginny’s health failed, to help care for her and remain a companion for my mom once Ginny passed. The truth was, I never wanted to leave, and I am happy I never had to.

I don’t really remember my Grandpa, but I’m told I would antagonize him by threatening to turn the knob of the TV while he was watching. I’m sure it was all in good fun!

I remember my Grandma a bit more, and I will relay those stories as I complete them.

Don and Lu lived in Dubuque, and I would see them often, Don would stop over every Saturday, and I can still hear him boisterously telling stories as he sat with Mom and Gin at the kitchen table.

Ray lived in Colorado, but he called at least once per week. Each year, he would use his four weeks of vacation to come home and stay with us. Again, the laughter around the kitchen table would bounce off the walls.

Wally lived in Vermont, and then later in North Carolina. He and Grace would come home at least every other year, and a lot of times would coordinate with Ray so they would all be home at the same time. Kitchen table. Laughter. You get it.

Liz and Mony lived in Mason City, about a three hour drive from Dubuque. Liz would call every Wednesday, and would drive down for the weekend several times per year. She would always share Ginny’s room, and you would hear them up till all hours of the night, howling with laughter. That doesn’t mean the kitchen table was spared, as we would all get in on the act once there.

Our small family (Mom, Gin, and I) would laugh just as much when there was nobody visiting. As an only child, I was sufficiently spoiled, but managed to not become a monster. It was because of their love, and guidance, and protection, and encouragement.

They were amazing women. Amazing. They both worked at A.Y. McDonald manufacturing in Dubuque…Ginny for 43 years, and Maggie for 50! They enjoyed their work, and the fact they got to share it together only made the kitchen table laughter louder.

Alas, time is unrelenting, and decades of smoking caused Ginny’s health to decline. She was in my life for 10,604 days, and I’m not lying when I tell you I either had contact, or spoke with her, everyone of those days. It was not nearly enough time.

After Ginny died, my Mom and I poured ourselves into each other as I found my place in the world. I met my wife Brenda Schilling in 2008. There was a small, detached cottage on our property, so Brenda and I had our own space, even if we were over at the “main” house most of the time anyway. Brenda never got to meet Ginny, but I am so happy that she got to meet and know and love Maggie. We all knew and agreed that she and Ginny would have been the best of friends. I am so happy I could stay with Maggie, and she with me. Maggie also had COPD from decades of smoking, but for many years it was only a slight limitation. Maggie stayed incredibly healthy into her 90’s, but her age, breathing issues, and eventually dementia took their toll. Thankfully, my job at Northeast Iowa Community College allowed me to work remotely, and I was able to care for Maggie until her peaceful end. As with Ginny, I either was in physical contact and/or spoke with Maggie for each of the 19,525 days she was in my physical world (and that doesn’t count gestation!). It was not nearly enough time.

I will feel their absence for the rest of my days. Feel may not be a big enough word to describe my loss. I left nothing unsaid or unresolved with either Ginny or Maggie, but there is a perspective that can only be gained after a loss, and now every wish, prayer, and daydream I have from this day forward will be for a time and a place where we will be reunited. I remember once contemplating that an eternal life would be a terrible thing, thinking that one would have no choice but to become bored by what was on offer; however, I now know that an eternity of sitting around that kitchen table, or doing yard work, watching TV, or going to the mall, would be the definition of heaven, as long as it was with them.

I hope, wish, pray, daydream that Mom and Gin are in that place right now, reunited with their mom and dad and all their brothers and sisters. I know they would never tire of that reality.

I will live my life to honor them, as well as to build up some good stories that I can share when I’m able to join them.

If you’ve found this record, I hope it resonates with you. I hope you can relate to life in a family such as mine.

Please read the stories, look at the pictures, and listen to the recordings in the Media section. They cannot convey the true and awesome love and perfection that surrounded us as they were created.

I love you Mom and Ginny. There never was, nor never will be a day that is not true.