Missing my Momma
The older I get, the more I understand my mama. Times have changed so much. Kids today aren't growing up the way I did. When I was young, family was everything. Holidays meant everybody gathering together. Cousins knew each other. We visited, laughed, ate together and made memories. Back then, I never thought there would come a day when so many of those people would be gone. As Mama got older, she lost her brother, her daddy, and then her mama. I remember wondering why she couldn't just remember all the good times, let go of some of the sadness, and try to enjoy the life she still had. I didn't understand. During the last few years of her life, I watched her become tired and worn down. She missed the family we used to have. She missed the people who knew her when she was young. She missed a time in her life that she could never get back. More than anything, she wanted to see her family again. Now I've lost my mama, and I finally understand something I wish I could tell her. Mama, I get it now. You weren't refusing to remember the good times. You remembered them so well that sometimes it hurt knowing they were over. Because when you lose the people you love, you don't only miss them. You miss who you were when they were here. You miss the holidays, the laughter, the familiar voices and the feeling that your family was still whole. I understand now why your heart was so tired. And Mama, I miss it too. I miss our family. I miss the way things used to be. And more than anything, I miss you. ❤️