Judy Handler

Upon arriving in Israel in 1948, Idica became known as Yehudit. As impoverished refugees, she and her family worked hard to build a new life and community. Yehudit showed courage, maturity beyond her years, and tireless loyalty to her family, working as a seamstress and selling dresses at the shuk. As she grew into a beautiful young woman, Yehudit maintained her passion for helping others, and planned to study in the US to become a teacher of students with disabilities.

Upon arriving in the US in 1955, she became known as Judy. Living with her extended relatives Mollie and Ben Handler, she studied English by day and went on dates by night. But when Mollie and Ben’s son Jerry returned from the Army, it took less than a month for Judy and Jerry to fall in love and marry. They moved to San Diego in 1957. Over their subsequent 66 years of marriage, Judy was a devoted wife, creating vibrant community and keeping a Jewish home. She also continued to nurture personal passions, from oil painting to ikebana, cake decorating to book club facilitating, bridge to mahjong. Judy was deeply empathetic, and generously gave her heart to others, from caring for animals to working as a hospice volunteer. And every Passover, she'd open her home to anyone who didn't have a seder to go to; the table was always full of grateful hearts.

Beginning in 1957, with the arrival of her first of three children, Judy added “Mom” to the list of names she was known by. As Mom, she was dedicated and intuitive, knowing when her children were sad and just what they needed. She was caring and creative: an impressive seamstress, Mom sewed all of her children’s outfits, which were often the envy of the neighborhood. She and her husband helped found the San Diego Hebrew Day School in 1963 to ensure the children in their community could have a Jewish education. Mom poured her heart and soul into ensuring her children had all that she missed growing up, from education to celebrations. As a child, she never had a birthday celebration of her own, but for each of her children, she made exquisitely decorated birthday cakes each year. Mom was both loving and insistent, pushing her kids to reach for the stars, to always try their best, and to most importantly be good, kind people. Later in life, at family Shabbat dinners each week, she never failed to remind her children how proud she was of the people they’d become and the families they raised.

Finally, upon the arrival of her grandchildren, beginning in 1989, “Grandma” became perhaps her most beloved name of all. Grandma had the magic touch, always there to heal sick grandkids with tea and love. She was playful and adventurous, building forts and inventing fun and hilarious games for sleepovers (Toilet Adventures and the Tape Game were two family favorites), playing cards, hosting brunch, and teaching her grandkids family recipes. Most importantly, Grandma was always there to listen to her grandkids and understand what was going on in their worlds. She knew if something was weighing on them, and always texted or called to remind them she was praying for them before a big test or presentation. Grandma instilled Jewish values and traditions in her grandkids, and never held back in sharing her love for and pride in her beautiful family.

At each phase of life, and through each change of name, this incredible woman had the biggest heart, showing care, compassion, and love to all those around her. Until the day she died, she shined with the light and hope of Idica, the loyalty and strength of Yehudit, the empathy and intelligence of Judy, the faithfulness and devotion of Mom, and the tender compassion of Grandma. She is greatly missed by her family, in whom her legacy lives on. May her memory continue to be a blessing, always.

Husband Jerry requests no flowers or phone calls please; instead, consider donating to the Joint Distribution Committee in Judy’s honor and extending your prayers to the family.