Madison "Madi" Caitlin Wathen

I have had the pleasure of celebrating milestones in her life and, most importantly, celebrating her for living her truth. What I am most proud of is that our relationship was built on unconditional love. The one thing I can say about Madi is that if she loved you, she did with everything inside her. There were no lengths she wouldn’t go to in order to display this affection. In my case, Madi showed her love by accepting me as I am. She never judged me. She only tried to understand me, and if I may be so bold, all of this love and respect she showed me was reciprocated. I truly believe this is why she and I bonded the way we did.

My heart is absolutely broken. There will never be enough words to convey what Madison means to each of us and the pain we are going through. I have no doubt I’m going to shed a million more tears, and I know I’m never going to completely heal. I will struggle with infinite questions that will never be answered, and wrestle with the “what ifs” that will plague me, knowing that it will not change a thing.

How does one sum up the life of such an incredible person with mere words? How does one conjure up comforting words when the void in our hearts will never be filled? Each of us are now on a journey that will take time, patience, and acceptance. For some, you will lean on your faith and find solace in scriptures, while others may lean in on the memories created with Madison, each of us trying to navigate through the seemingly endless emotional storms that are ahead. No matter the path we choose, what we all have in common is the love we have for Madison, the blessing we were given to have had her in our lives, and how much we are going to miss seeing her and that radiant smile.

For me, I choose to focus on the journey. I choose to focus on Madison’s life, the things that made her happy, and all she accomplished while she was here. When a song comes on the radio that reminds me of Madi, I will turn the volume up and sing the songs at the top of my lungs (probably poorly). I will take the time to appreciate nature’s beauty, and know that if something catches my attention, it’s Madi saying “hi.” I will be attentive to others’ needs and do all I can to assist, because I know Madi would have done the same. The greatest thing I can do to honor Madison is to be thankful that I existed in a time that allowed me to know her, to have experienced all I have with her, and to know that I am lucky, because I could have lived my whole life missing out. I will forever be grateful.

I have spoken at a few funerals, and one thing I remind people of is that the pain we feel is directly proportional to the love we felt. If you can feel our pain, then you truly understand the love we have. Anyone who was lucky enough to know Madison knows this love; unconditional, unequivocal, everlasting.