Anthony Joseph Eugene Stefanacci

Statement as read by Tracey Tyree written by Anthony Stefanacci mother Janetlyn Stefanacci at the Memorial Service on May 18, 2024:

“When I first became a parent, I did not have a personal role model to guide me. There was no handbook for me to follow, and I did not have a parent to seek guidance from.

What I did have was love. I wanted to give, receive, and teach genuine passion unconditionally.
Over the years, there would be ups and downs, especially with Giuliana and Anthony being five years apart. One thing I was sure of in this crazy mess called life was that we would all be ok if we showed love and said how much we loved each other. I always felt I had an uphill battle, a severe struggle between the external forces in the world and the world I envisioned for them. But I tried because I loved them.

Over the past week, I have sifted through the fantastic tributes and beautiful photos online, in my message box, and person. The tributes exemplified the loving man I worked to cultivate— My son, a handsome, vital, proud, productive member of society who was already serving his community. I am glad you all met him there, even at a young age.

Reflecting on personal videos and photos, I see my precious son. Silly at times, sassy at times, spinning me around the kitchen dancing, crawling into bed to tell me about his day, often not until after his shower at midnight. My heart bleeds for those moments. I will miss going on stealth missions to find forks throughout the house, mainly to be found in his room. He was my little partner-in-crime. I'll miss telling him his music is too loud and watching him dance to the frosty song, shaking my head, knowing it's the most inappropriate Christmas song on the planet.

When thinking about what I am most proud of, it's the simple things: Anthony, when shaking hands, gripped firmly and looked people in the eye like a gentleman. Like his father, he carried two handkerchiefs when dressing up, one in his back pocket and one in his breast pocket for his date. We taught him confidence, to act like you’ve been there before, to listen more, and to talk less, although anyone who knew him knew that was a challenge under the best circumstances for him! I taught him that when entrusted with a secret, he should keep it. Never write what you wouldn't want the world to read; perhaps that is why he loved Snapchat.

I told him to find his heroes, hold them to a higher standard, but be forgiving because we are all human. While a bone of contention between his father and him, Anthony returned a borrowed car with a full gas tank.

I told Anthony to be adventurous; life is bigger than Saratoga Springs, Saratoga County, or New York. We talked about not letting a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.

I dreamed for him that he would experience the serenity of traveling alone. We talked about laughing and loving and that you're missing the point if you need music on the beach. As a new fellow EMS provider, I told him to act like a duck: remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath. I'm sorry he never had the opportunity to experience all the good he would later do.

I have always been so proud of Anthony for reaching out to those less fortunate or with unique challenges. In middle school, while others palled around the lunch room, he befriended and ate lunch almost every day with a kind special needs boy named Chase.

Anthony loved Legos. I will miss new creations showing up around the house. A favorite memory I have was when we talked about how life is like Legos: I remember explaining to Anthony that a good man, a great man, was not built from one color of Legos. There is a benefit to laying the gray and black as significant pieces for a solid foundation to build. But life itself is full of colors like a prism. Men are no different. So if he found what worked for him, a healthy variety of reds, yellows, pinks, greens, purples, and other various colors to make up the most fantastic Anthony —it would lead to being the best man he could be.

I faced many challenges as a parent, none as hard as today, which included burying his baby sister Kelsey Elizabeth.

I was committed to showing my children love and teaching them never to avoid it. I do not believe Anthony did anything other than lean into love with his whole self, maybe to a fault.

Our relationship was ours. When I think of Anthony and our mother-son relationship, albeit turbulent at times (especially if he heard the word “no” ). It was unique and heartwarming, a private relationship, and our heart-to-heart sharing exemplified our deep bond.

He shared that love with others also. We worked on instilling respect and kindness in him throughout his life, and I'm proud that many in school remember him as the unofficial door greeter.

Anthony had a desire to make a positive impact on the world. Often, this clashed with the way society and others behaved. He never understood that. It pained him greatly. I stressed the importance of embracing life's various colors and finding his path in this challenging world, and Anthony made a difference.

I love my son, Anthony Joseph Eugene Stefanacci. I will miss him every day.”