My Amazing and Beautiful Sister
You were my big little sister. You always protected me from so much and I wish I had protected you from more. You were always there for me in all the ways a sister could be. You loved my babies like your own, and I yours. We were supposed to grow old together, get land and live together. We were supposed to sit there and pick on our kids in our rocking chairs with a drink and smoke in our hands. Florida and the lake house were special places for us. I feel like the best memories were made there. I know you didn’t remember going to Florida when we were little but I do and it was just the coolest spending it with you. Then we got to go back and really, it was the best time of my life. Words cannot explain how horrible it is you are gone. I do hope that in any case, you are with Ma and all of our other angels because we have lost so many over the years. I love you so very much. I miss you every day. Here is the eulogy I wrote for you and I hope that it somehow brings joy and closure for those who read it: I’ve been trying for a couple of days to find some pictures of Steph just by herself. The truth is, she was never by herself. She had a way of just bringing you in. Whether it was her smile or her laugh, the way she pushed you around or teased you; you became part of the family. She welcomed everyone. This is who Stephanie was and somehow continues to be. Even in death, her love and fierce protectiveness for her loved ones truly transcends the threads of life and death. I remember so many times my sister faced seemingly impossible situations, and how many people thought she was incapable. My sister was anything but incapable. She was powerful. She was determined. She was love. I knew that though. You see, I watched as she grew up from this funny, stubborn little girl to this unabashed, strong, and beautiful young woman. She was a very powerful force to reckon with but if you weathered the storm, you’d find that at her core she was the most loving and accepting person in the world. That wouldn’t stop her from bluntly telling the truth- I’m pretty sure we are all very familiar with that. She never shied away from sharing her opinion and she especially didn’t have a problem telling you if you were wrong. Don’t try to tell her she’s wrong though! That said, I’ll never forget the Christmas she actually received a jar of pickles for a gift because she loved pickles so much. Nor will I forget how much she loved her Starbucks, pepperoncinis, and going up to the lake. Some of my best memories with her were spent at the lake or beach. It was her “nameste”, the one place she could relax and be at peace. The one thing that meant most to my sister was her family. Her family included not just her kids, me, mom, dad, JJ, or Chris - it included you as well. All of you. We wouldn’t be here if not for her. I’d like to think that it is thanks to her that many of us met and created bonds. Now, we can share her memory and crazy experiences with each other and keep her alive. Lastly, I want to share a quote with you all today, from the movie Titanic spoken from Jack: “I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you...to make each day count.” I love you Steph, may you be at peace with your princess Aubrianna and our mother.
