Megan Elizabeth Sheppard

We had no idea how our lives would change that October morning. I was scheduled for a c-section that morning. Around 4:00 am, I started having contractions. We headed for the hospital early. I’m going to condense some of the details. I was already dilated to 5. We told them to call my OB. So many things happened between the time we told them to call my OB and when I was rushed into surgery for an emergency C-section. The actions or inactions of a med student and resident changed how life would be.

Hypoxic brain injury. One of the neonatologists said from the time her heart stopped, while they paddled her back to life, she was oxygen-deprived for approximately 30 minutes. Much of that day is still a blur. I think it is God's way of keeping things that are that traumatic, locked up in a place, that is just too horrific to even think about going into. I remember waking up in recovery. Scott and my mom were there. I don’t remember the exact words that were spoken. I just remember Scott telling me what had happened. That they didn’t expect our angel to live. At that point in time, it was like the twilight zone. You knew that what was going on was really happening, but at the same time, this place you were at was like a horrible nightmare. I remember when they wheeled me to see our sweet little girl in the NICU. She was on a ventilator and had tubes and wires everywhere. She had a beautiful head of black hair and a little pink bow that had been made from a piece of yarn. She was just gorgeous! Things went so fast from that moment on. We met with so many neonatologists, neurologists, ethics, and moral people. They told us that the scan they did, showed that Megan had no brain activity at all. They showed us the scan. It was all black. They said we had to decide what we were going to do as far as the ventilator. That type of decision, a parent or loved one should NEVER have to make. The things that go through your mind. Can we do this? Should we do this? What will people think? What would God think? Agonizing over that decision, was…..well…..there are no words in the English language to describe it. We didn’t know it at the time, but God was guiding us down the path he had forged. We had Megan baptized. We had all our family there. That room was filled with so much love. It was 6 hrs. after Megan was born, and after much prayer and deliberation, we decided to take Megan off the respirator. We said if God willed her to live off the machines he would. If HIS will was to take her home, then his WILL would be done. Those next hours and few days were sheer hell and terror. They took her off the respirator and brought her to my room. We were all gathered around. Expecting her to take her last breaths in my arms within minutes. She felt the love! She had our Lord feeding her strength the whole time. Fast forward, she was in the NICU and that night I was woken by the nurses, saying that her heart rate was going down into the 20’s and she was blue and we needed to go there as they didn’t expect her to make it. I held her and rubbed her cheek with my thumb and rocked her. Her heart rate started coming back up. We played this game off and on for the 1st 48 hrs. Fast forward again. Megan spent 2 weeks in the NICU. We were told to expect lots of things. They said even though, she is alive, she will be deaf, blind, unable to swallow, never smile, etc. etc. My mom got her to suck on the pacifier. I said well if she can suck on that lets try a bottle. It took awhile, but after about a week or so she was taking the bottle. I know I’m jumping around here and I apologize. Reliving, that day has brought back repressed memories. Joshua was only 4 years old, when his sister was born. I remember how scared that poor little baby was. He was so excited about his sister. Then to be witness to your mommy & daddy, grandma’s and grandpa’s, aunts, uncles, crying and hearing the words “death”, “she isn’t going to make it”. Poor little baby, I think at one point he thought mommy was going to die too. Think about it 4 yrs old and your life has just been thrown into the pits of hell and back. Fast forward again. The day we brought our angel home. She was dressed in a one piece little pink/white girly jumper, with a cute little pink bib. Little ruffly shoes and a bonnet that my grandma bought me when I was pregnant with Josh, just knowing he was a girl. It was white, with pink polka dots and little white lace around a little opening on the crown of the hat and a little white silk ribbon that was tied around her precious little face. They had me sit in a wheelchair and wheeled me out, just like they would of 3 weeks prior. They told us we would have to wake her every 4 hrs to feed her. She hadn't made one sound since birth. They didn't think she would let us know she was hungry. WRONG again. I had set my alarm clock for midnight. At about 11:45, we heard this most amazing little sound. It wasn't a cry, it was a voice from our little peanut telling us she was hungry. Fast forward much more. Since day one, Megs made sure she kept us on our toes. Believe me, there were times I didn't think I was strong enough or that I could handle it. But God is great and was always there to pick me up and let me know I could handle it. If Megan can do it, then you can do it. The countless surgeries and always a smile. The struggles and hurdles and she fought them and won. Look at this little Miracle now!!! For a little girl who was supposed to die, then supposed to be deaf, blind, unable to swallow, never smile, never understand, anything they said. All we have to say to all you doctors and professionals is that you looked only at the scans and tests. You underestimated the power of God's will. He had a plan for Megan and our life. However, that plan changed on August 18, 2015. Megan contracted pneumonia and her sweet little body just wasn’t strong enough to fight this off. Once again 20 years later, we all surrounded her with love and her respirator was turned off. Our girl left our earthly world and now is in the arms of Jesus.
Megan's light continues to shine brightly and her legacy will live on forever. She is smiling down from heaven seeing that all children have a place to play and enjoy the fun like their friends. Meg's Place will forever be a loving, accessible, joyful place for ALL to enjoy.