Richard G Fernandez

Family was the most important thing to our dad. The more the merrier was how he saw things and close friends and boyfriends of any of his family automatically became family to him. He unconditionally loved us all and was always willing to drop everything and sacrifice whatever he needed to of himself to help us out. He loved his son in laws as his own and by his example helped shape them into the amazing dads and husbands they are.

He loved hosting family gatherings and cooking food for everyone, a trait that was passed down from his father and a mark of his Spanish heritage. He was an amazing cook and excitedly took advantage of any opportunity he had to cook for others. He always made way more than necessary and encouraged guests to “get more” when they were done. There was never a shortage of food at a party he was hosting or helping us host. Although he loved feeding friends and family, he loved their company and bringing everyone together even more. Our mom was telling us how his mom used to say that when he was little and they’d be having people over, he would bug her about who was coming and when they were going to get there. He loved being around people. He was this way up until the end. Even when he was sick, and couldn’t get out of bed – if he knew his brother was coming, he’d wake up at least 4 times in the middle of the night asking when Sonny was coming, and he was still cracking jokes and taking a genuine interest in the lives of all who visited.

He was very proud of his Spanish heritage and it became even more important to him the older he got. He’d constantly have on Telemundo or Spanish radio stations. He even ordered books and tapes in Spanish. He didn’t use the language much as he got older and he wanted to keep his Spanish speaking skills sharp. He also loved passing down the Spanish traditions to his children and grandchildren. The Noche Buena celebration and traditional meal of pork and black beans and rice was his favorite and everyone looked forward to it every year. Cuban coffee and toast was another big one. There is not one person in this family that can’t down a loaf of Cuban bread.

Our Dad went by many names: Richard, Dick, Pean, Dad…but our favorite was Pop, the name given to him by his grandkids. Watching him become a Grandpa was such a blessing. It was what he was born to do. He never missed an event in his grandkids lives. He sat through countless dance recitals, Nutcrackers, awards ceremonies, graduations, and braved the heat to watch soccer, bmx, and motor cross racing. He did so with such pride! He also loved having tea parties with Mattie and Mikayla, playing Go Fish with Charley and Beyblades with Van. He even learned (and perfected) the Floss dance. One of his favorite Pop duties was the year he picked Van up every day from his preschool class. And if you know our dad, it won’t come as much of a surprise that all the teachers at Mary’s House preschool loved him. So much so that they asked him to be the story grandpa for the Christmas party. And in true Pop fashion, he couldn’t say no. Especially when put on the spot. And even though it was wildly out of his comfort zone, he put on a Santa hat and read that book with voices and hand motions.

He was a proud member of the U.S. Coast Guard and had a million coast guard hats he would wear with pride. He became a member of the American Legion and loved putting out flags at the cemetery on Memorial Day with Van, his only grandson. He was also a proud graduate of Jesuit High School, which he attended with his brothers and cousins. He was so excited his granddaughter Mikayla was going to be cheering for them this year and couldn’t wait to go to the games. We know he will now have the best seat in the house.

On top of being the most perfect husband, Dad and Grandpa ever, he also taught us a few lessons along the way and we thought we’d share some of those today.

1. It’s never too early to start a countdown. We would start getting countdowns for next years summer vacation to Palm Island as soon as we’d return home from the current years. Seeing that “364 days and a wake up” brought us all so much joy because we knew how much he looked forward to this vacation every year. And if he went a few weeks without sending an update, the kids would start asking “Pop, how many days and a wakeup til palm island?” He loved getting together to plan the week’s menus, grocery lists and costumes for our family race. He absolutely loved and cherished us all being under one roof for the entire week, and would get up first every morning to make everybody Cuban coffee and Cuban toast. We planned to take over that tradition this year since he was sick, but he didn’t let cancer stop him. Every morning we’d wake up and see him in the kitchen with his walker proudly making it.

2. It is okay to take the nap. Watch the show. Hang out in the garage with your neighbor. Take a million trips to Winn Dixie. Leave the dishes in the sink. The dishes will still be there in the morning. Or if you’re lucky enough to live with our mom, the dishes would magically be done by the time you woke up.

3. Always have an exit strategy for a party. The dog is a good excuse, but if people start to catch on to you, just sneak out when no one is looking. And then you have the rest of the night to come up with a good excuse as to why you left.

4. When grilling on the Big Green Egg (which was his absolute favorite thing to do), cook on a low heat – this gives you extra time to have a scotch and cigar without anyone questioning your motives or giving you a list of to do’s. And the food always turns out amazing!

5. And most importantly, love everybody. Find the good in everyone. He never had a bad thing to say about anybody. He loved his family, he loved his brothers, he loved his friends that always became part of our family. He was loyal, and forgiving. He was always going out of his way to do things for others, simply because he found joy in helping others. He was the most positive person we know and he never let negative thoughts reside in his head. He saw the good in everyone, genuinely loved people and had a sincere interest in getting to know them. He was a man of faith, a proud veteran, a devoted husband, and the best dad and grandpa we have ever known.

We are so grateful to God for blessing him with 78 years on this Earth. He got to give both of his daughters away at their wedding in the same church he and our mom were married in, he gained two sons that he loved as his own, our parents got to renew their wedding vows on their 30th anniversary and celebrate their 50th with family and friends, he was at the hospital for the birth of all four of his grandchildren, celebrated 56 years with his wife that he adored, watched Mattie graduate high school, get accepted to FSU and fall in love, he celebrated Mikayla’s 8th grade graduation, her start of high school and watched her make the cheerleading team for his alma mater. He was able to see both girls share the stage for their final Nutcracker performance together. He made sure to come to every sporting event Van tried: BMX, Motocross, Soccer, Football, proudly cheering from the sidelines. And he got to see Charley embark on the first part of her elementary school years, and take the stage for her dance recitals. He was the best husband, father, grandfather, brother and friend. He set the example for us of what it means to be a family and we are the family we are today because of him. We are heartbroken he has left this earth and the hole he is leaving is quite large. His absence will be felt in every aspect of our lives, as he was such a major part of them. But we know that his legacy will live on in all of us as we carry on the values and traditions he filled us with. We love you Dad and know that you will proudly be watching down from a front row seat for all of life’s events yet to come (as long as they’re not too late in the evening). For now when we miss you we will talk to you in our prayers until we meet again.