Helena Alegria Pederneira
“A life with love is a life that’s been lived.”
Nossa Querida Mãe
It takes a lot of strength to live but it takes a lot of courage to die. Our Mother stayed alive because I continually asked her to. She was so afraid of the devastation that our family would feel in her loss that she continued to suffer until I finally gave her permission to let go. I rubbed her head and told her that it was ok, if she was too tired, I understood. She waited until my Dad, my brothers, and I left the room and she passed, peacefully, listening to Portuguese fado music right before Sunday lunch at her 5 star “hotel” Massachusetts General Hospital.
To know her was to love her. She had a special gift of making everyone love her. You just couldn’t help yourself. And I finally figured out how she did it. She made connections. She asked, and she listened, and she shared. She knew everything about you and in turn, she shared everything about herself. She was incredibly kind to everyone she met. She was funny and always smiling. She played with us. She was fun. She made memories. She was our family’s storyteller.
She loved traditions. Cooking Sunday lunches for us. Boating on the river. Vacationing, especially to Portugal. Dancing, even with two left feet. Watering her flowers, especially her tulips. She loved butterflies. Mastering Candy Crush. Engaging on Facebook where she was able to stay connected to so many, especially her family and friends in Portugal. She loved breakfast dates with her girlfriends and looked forward to their daily visits. She was smart. Even with her Sesame Street English, she was a translator for her friends at their doctor appointments. She loved her time spent as an unpaid taxi driver for her Doce and Doce Doce. Watching endless soccer games, cheer competitions, and dance recitals. She was our biggest fan, always happy for us and always cheering us on.
She loved so deeply. She was a best friend to many, especially to me. She cherished her grandchildren, all 5 of them; her lovely grandson Patrick, her Doce Maya, her Doce Doce Rayna, Phillipe, and Lillian. She loved her 5 kids equally; David, Me, Danny, her favorite son-in-law Ben, and her daughter-in-law Liz. Although we were constantly competing to be her favorite somehow David was always her “filho mais rico” (I’m sure she is rolling her eyes right now). But I can honestly say that our Dad, José, was truly her number one. He is not a man of many words but the way he cared for her is a true testament to the pure love he has for her. She had an incredible will to live. She had such inner strength and was so mentally strong, and it was this that got her through her lung transplant to love us for 16 more months. She loved this beautiful life that she created. Make your life beautiful. There is time for nothing else. She will be deeply missed by us all, but forever cherished in our hearts.
Mãe, I understand. I’m grateful that you have your voice back now and are getting to know your Mother while you have your morning coffee and a Vóvie Special while Tyson eats up all your crumbs.
We love you so much more and you knowing 🦋❤️😘🦋
Inside all of us you’re still here…
The world Helena knew
Family milestones in gold, history for context
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