Eli's tree May 11, 2024
We had the most beautiful simple, sweet ceremony at the Raspberry Spear Crabapple tree that we planted by the pond. We hung five doves to represent our family of five. Connie brought leis two for Alex and I that represented mourning and two with orchids for Emma and Ethan. And then she brought a mourning and an orchid lei to lay at the base of the tree after we spread Eli’s soil around the tree. I read this:
“Eli, we lay you down here so that we can hear you in the bird song and in the breezes and feel you when the sun is shining. We lay you down here so that we can see you in the blossoms of this tree shining bright and beautiful. Each little flower that opens,
Each little bird that sings,
God made their glowing colours,
God made their tiny wings.
All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made you all. I love you my beautiful son.”
◦
Then we went to the water side and Ethan and Emma took off their leis and tossed them into the water. Connie also brought orchids for us all to toss in the water. And, then we tossed more of Eli’s soil into the water. It was such a spectacular day, sunny and sparkling. Mount Rainier was majestic and watching over us. I cried harder than I did at his service. It was such a gift to say goodbye in that way. Afterwards, we went to Blooms Winery and had an incredibly beautiful dinner. One of the nicest menus I’ve seen ever on the island, seasonal and thoughtful. The chef takes such pride. Good wine, good drinks. Lovely atmosphere.
I’ve been carrying the need to have this type of ceremony with my kids out at the beach house and it was so special to have Mark and Connie there. Our beach house together was over 20 years of Eli’s life.
May 11, 2024
Emma's message at Eli's service
Sharing what our daughter, Emma, shared with our friends and family in January 2024 at Eli's celebration of life service. Thank you Emma.
My dearest, sweetest and kindest soul Eli-
Oh how I already miss you so much. Mom, dad, Ethan and I will miss you for the rest of our lives. (Plus Water, Smudge and Annie… but especially Walter… don’t worry we will keep him company downstairs)
I hope you can hear me talk to you every night. Adrian actually encouraged me to do that. It’s been helping a ton. Did I mention dad and I are training to run a half marathon? Crazy. I know. I’ll keep blabbering to you at night, or randomly throughout the day… be ready for all the life updates.
I miss your laughter, giggles and unsolicited information about ww2 tanks. You were the biggest history buff I knew. You built such a huge online community, and over 400k people online are grieving your passing as well. Hundreds of thousands of people look up to you, my sweet brother. You are incredibly inspiring, creative and above all else- extremely witty and funny. Between you, me and Ethan… you had the best jokes. Hands down. Ethan and I will hold down the fort now. We miss you. Forever the 3 musketeers.
I wish I got to hug you one last time.
I wish I got to tell you how proud of I am of you one more time.
I wish I got to sing a Taylor Swift song in your Ford Bronco one more time. (& then get car sick bc your Bronco was like being on an Indiana Jones ride)
I wish we could keep sending each other fat cat videos on tiktok and instagram.
I would give anything to see you again.
When I look to the sky, I think of you. The sunsets, clouds, rain, hail, blue sky, grey sky- all of it. I think of you. I’m never alone.
I’ll forever cherish the most recent memory of you and mom visiting me in LA and coming to see me at Sony. I remember you saying how proud you were of me. I’m so grateful you got to see Adrian and I’s life in California. I’ll never take that Sony tour picture of you and mom off of my desk- my favorite thing to look at - along with the Lilo funko pop you just got me for Christmas.
One day when I have a family, I’ll always remind my children about their uncle Eli. The most smart, kindred and thoughtful man. You wont ever be forgotten. I’ll forever paint your memory wherever I go.
Please save me, mom, dad, Ethan and Adrian a German beer up there. Until we meet again, my sweet soul. I love you, and talk to you tonight in the sky.
Godspeed commander.
Ps- Tell grandma Flo, grandpa Ken and grandpa Roy I say hi, and that I love them too.
Emma
Kulshan
KULSHAN
Looking out the window and seeing Mount Baker today was painful. I’ve been struggling with the fact that we see the mountain so clearly from almost every window of our house. There is no denying the fact that it is the place where Eli died. I’ve been telling myself that I have to somehow make peace with seeing, literally, an unavoidable monolithic reminder of his death every single clear day. Then, this morning, seeing her covered with brilliant snow, I thought, it’s not Mt. Baker, it is the beloved Kollia-Kulshan of the native Nooksack tribe. It was no longer a sentinel of dark, foreboding granite covered in white that I was seeing but, rather, a loving presence whispering to me that Eli laid down in her arms to rest. She was there to cradle him and to let him know that he is so very loved. My heart suddenly overflows with gratitude for her. And, when she makes an appearance, I will always thank her for holding my sweet, beautiful boy as he left us.
Kulshan, I choose to honor you as our sacred witness and protector.
Written April 9th of 2024 on the first clear morning in many, many days.
I never realized it, but from here the mountain is sort of the shape of an angel wing
