Born on November 27, 2005 in Kirkland, Washington, United States
Passed away on December 24, 2024 in Lompoc, California, United States
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms...”
― Henry David Thoreau
Asher was born November 27, 2005 in Kirkland, Washington to Mom Danielle Rhodes and Dad Ashley Tenud, and to big brother Brook and later became a big brother to Bowie. While Asher was short for "Ashley, Jr", Asher means "happy, and blessed", qualities he exuded throughout his life and shared with others.
Asher was full of life and lived it on his own terms. He loved adventure and travel. An epic trip to Machu Picchu in junior high further fostered his wanderlust and a sense of kinship with the natural world.
Asher was bright and well beyond his years, reading at a fifth grade level in kindergarten and completing two grades at once. Asher went for anything he was interested in, joining choir and the wrestling team, and pursuing anything he put his mind to.
He raised money for various causes and loved to travel. He spent the past two years traveling through Oregon and California until he settled in Santa Maria. He saw inequality in the world and selflessly sought to improve it through work with unhoused individuals and homeless animals. In 2016, he won a "Butterfly Grant", on the idea that all houseless individuals should be cared for and blessed (his application video is in our gallery). He won that grant and spent the next year dropping off snacks, water, socks and love notes to the local houseless community to remind them that he was a loving and kind neighbor and friend.
He truly loved all animals and found opportunities to spend time with them, and cherished his beloved cat Pyg, who he traveled with during his adventures.
When he was younger, he painted portraits of people's pets—portraits that owners discovered were quite representative of their pets, somehow bringing both the animal's appearance and personality to the canvas. Asher was a keen observer with a sharp wit—a trait that could be both hysterical and infuriating simultaneously for those around him.
His friends also knew well the depths of his generosity, as well as his sense of fun. He was a thoughtful and selfless friend who always had great advice to give and a smile that would light up a room.
In 2024, he started a job at Frontier Communications where he quickly excelled and built a community with his colleagues and friends, who became an invaluable part of his life.
Asher passed away December 24, 2024. He leaves a vast space behind that will be impossible to fill.
On Christmas eve, after receiving the terrible news, I had a dream. I was at the Oregon Zoo with several people, including Danielle's family. I saw Asher a short distance off and said to my companion, "I have to say goodbye to him"
I approached Asher and asked him for a hug goodbye. He nodded, and I hugged him tightly. Reluctantly, I let him go and started to walk away, knowing I would never see him again. I turned and asked him if I could have one more hug, walked back and hugged him again. He said in that smartass way of his "And you didn't like kids" and kissed my cheek. The pressure on my cheek woke me, and I was both crying and smiling. The cheeky little scamp.
It's true that when I met Asher and his brothers, I adamantly did NOT like children. But these kids were different. I found myself joining them for holidays, game nights, and family dinners and enjoying it. Within a few years, I even started hosting family-friendly birthdays specifically so they could attend. Asher being the boldest, I probably spoke with him the most, and found him to be a quirky kindred spirit.
When he was around 13, his mom called me one day, saying I was the weirdest person she knows, and would I be willing to spend time with Asher, and sort of mentor him? I found the idea a bit terrifying, but I agreed.
I didn't know what we'd talk about, but I discovered a very kind soul, wise and intelligent beyond his years. What I had initially thought would be glorified babysitting, turned out to be some profound discussions on AI, art, technology, and just life in general. And he was indeed a kindred weirdo spirit, who wanted to live life on his own terms.
We lost touch as he got older, but I was always proud to be his honorary tía.
News of his death...well, I am still processing and will be for a long time. It's hard to reconcile such a tragedy, but I am heartened by the stories of his friendships and his work in recent years. It is no surprise that he is so well-loved and that he made such a difference for so many.
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
I have always been inspired by the Transcendentalist, Henry Thoreau, and was happy to see the latest edition with a Thoreau quote. Here is my favorite Thoreau quote........"Rather than Love, than fame, than money, Give Me Truth"
The Laughing Heart
your life is your life.
don't let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can't beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.
- Charles Bukowski
Asher was always happy, excited to be in the art room at Buckman School at SE 16th Ave. & Stark. He took Art seriously, he was observant of his surroundings, always helpful if I asked him to pass out materials. He couldn't put his pencil, pen, clay project or paintbrush down. Asher was a worldly person who could make friends with anybody.
Asher was a great friend. He always gave me good advice and we would laugh at each other's stories. He was such a funny guy. I loved seeing Asher and Sid's friendship, and just being in a room with the two of them brought good energy. I know at times Asher battled with depression, so it warms my heart knowing that he was so free and happy when he started traveling. I never expected him to make such a bold decision, but when he did, I knew it just made sense for him. He was such a unique and adventurous soul. I want to thank his friends in California for making his last days his happiest. I'm so so proud of Asher and I will miss him so much! My love goes out to all his family and loved ones❤
It is hard to put into words all that was Asher. I will never forget his mystical eyes nor his profound intellect. He was such a unique child. For a moment I will be sad that I did not get to know the man he would be, but then, Asher's essence was fully formed as a baby. If you had the pleasure of knowing him at any point in his life, you did truly know him. He was a rare and beautiful authentic spirt. May God bless him and keep, and shine his face upon him. Forever.
I don't really know how to start this letter other than to say that Asher is a one-of-a-kind person you meet in a lifetime and that I'm truly blessed to be able to say that I got to make memories with him that I will cherish forever. He truly made me see a different perspective in life. He was always an easy person to talk to. Asher and I had gotten really close over our work trip to Crescent City; we had talks about anything and everything. He would always be the light in the office, you could truly never dislike Asher; he was always an easygoing, smart, humble, happy person that would always put a smile on everyone's face even till this day. I remember Asher, Adrian and I would talk about our birthdays being so close to each other (considering mine is on the 29th of November). We would agree on always being the birthday trio. I still cherish those memories and always will. You guys have created the most genuine, loveable trustworthy and one-of-a-kind person and for that I thank you guys forever and always. I was able to meet such a wonderful person, and I will always be grateful for that so thank you once again. He may not be here physically, but his presence is always with us.
- His good Friend Silva
Love Always
Dear Asher,
So much I wonder about this guy. I wish we would've talked more. I had so much questions to ask, I appreciate the long conversation about the Jag. I recently heard you were looking for a bass system. I wish I could have gave you mine. I wish you would have spin more juice on how you would have made it happen in the field, but I know most of that was because of your pretty long hair. If you're reading this right now, I wish you nothing but the best and I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers. Love the way your dad is -- he reminds me of you. Long live Asher.
How lucky are we to have known the coolest and best fucking human ever. And how lucky that you got to be his mother.
I was telling Dennis about how I met Asher and out of the blue, right as I said his name - no joke, there was this most brilliant white flash of lightning that lit everything up outside, followed by the LONGEST -seriously this thing lasted a solid 2 minutes- and most rumbliest, house rattling thunder. It was so cool.
He’s everywhere love. He’s everywhere. And the universe itself is crying.
He is SO loved, as are you He truly was. Everything about him encompassed all that is good in this world. He was a gift you and his dad gave to the world, and he made damn good use of that gift.
To the family of my beloved friend Asher, who I saw as a brother in my life,
I honestly don’t even know where to begin. There’s so much to say in such little time. That was the impact he left in my life. I remember the first time I spoke with Asher. We were on our way to the field from the office, he was in the passenger seat while Carlos drove. I didn’t know them both as well, but they seemed inseparable. We loved driving with the windows down, sunroof open with the music blasting loud on a sunny day. All I was able to picture was Asher‘s hair flying everywhere and every which way. He sat there unbothered just enjoying the ride. It wasn’t until the ride back was it the first time I spoke with him. Nothing but laughter with him, that’s all that comes to mind when I reminisce of the memories.
Asher is indescribable, honestly words can’t even come close to describe or depict, how genuine, kind, selfless, and joyful his soul was. Everywhere he went, his energy would radiate and be so contagious. Always walking in with the biggest smile. No matter what life threw at him or where it threw him, he'd just make it happen! No matter what - not just in the job, but in life as well.
He was more than just pivotal, he was a friend and like a brother to me. All I ever wanted was the best for him in life because I saw he was aiming for the best and was getting there with no sweat!
He would always have the funniest jokes - talking with him for hours felt like seconds. So many times, I had conversations with him to where he helped me conquer my obstacles I faced within myself and within life itself. This guy loved his Canes. So many days we would spend eating there. He couldn’t get enough of their chicken, his absolute favorite.
I only knew him for three months and honestly, they didn’t even feel like three months. It felt like three years, if not more. Anytime I was feeling down or in the slumps, he’d bring my spirits back up just by hearing me out. He had so many amazing characteristics from making sure others were taken care of to just being an incredible listener. He would just let you talk all you needed to and he'd then just ask how he can help but also implement just his own personal knowledge and wisdom to you. He knew exactly what to say, and how to say it so that it made sense to you. He helped me develop and sharpen so many of my own traits while also introducing light to new ones. He helped me develop personally as a person.
One of my favorite memories was Thanksgiving! I had invited him over to spend some time and enjoy some good food. We played music, had our friend Carlos over and just played a couple rounds of pool. I won about three times against him. One of the best memories, hands-down.
Asher‘s personality was definitely one you had to experience first-hand. The way he just made friends everywhere he went, the way it was so easy to talk to him and be open about what you’re going through. He had a certain aura to him. It was very contagious, and you couldn’t help by either be laughing, smiling or just talking about life. That’s exactly what he was filled with was life. Always so enthusiastic and so energetic. Just so vibrant with life. He taught me to always be true to myself, regardless of others around you, I feel as that’s what made him unique was his confidence in himself and who he knew he was. Never afraid to express how he held himself or what he was about. He just attracted what he radiated. All he radiated was positive energy and good vibes.
I remember he had come over to my grandma‘s house. She was cooking shrimp tacos. We make our way over to her house. He was always mentioned if not invited by all. I have never seen him eat so much in one sitting, ha ha ha. Taco after taco, he just kept them coming. He loved those tacos and couldn’t get enough of them.
I was just happy and honored I was able to have him a part of my life and experience the fun memories we made as friends. Halloween was a day he could not stop laughing at me for my costume. I show up as Nacho Libre from the movie, Nacho Libre starring Jack Black. He was just laughing and stating references from the movie as I reenacted them.
He helped me be more confident, and who I am as a person and truly be able to hone in on who I was. Not once did I feel like I could not come to Asher for help or advice. He always had my back when I needed him the most, always looking out making sure we were heard, acknowledged, but also cared for and that we weren’t alone. I’ve seen him develop so many traits that helped him grow as a person, I couldn’t be prouder of who he was becoming on his own while also learning from us just as much as we learned from him.
What was unique to him was his free spirit. Always had a goal set in his mind and didn’t let anything hold him back. His determination was unmatched. I’ve never seen some one work as hard as him to achieve what they wanted in life. The day he got his car he couldn’t be happier, and I couldn’t be any happier or proud. I saw him so ecstatic to have gotten it and I remember just seeing his face light up with accomplishment. I just knew he was headed in the right direction to get things started. I couldn’t be happier to be by his side and see him grow so much as a person. He always took initiative in life, always knew how to handle things. Thanks to Asher, I was able to experience a brighter and more joyful life. I have so much love and respect for him to where his name lives in my heart. His name and presence will never be forgotten not just within me, but within the world. His soul and bright light in life anywhere it went. He allowed me to grow into who I am today and find who I am within myself.
I will forever cherish the memories I made with my friend. As far as I know, he will always have my back. He made three months feel like years. I will forever be grateful for his advice, presence and impact he made in my life.
Sincerely,
Isaac Lazaro
I didn’t write this sooner because I didn’t exactly know what to say until I got to meet you. The first time I saw you I just melted. Everyone was so excited for your arrival and always willing and wanting to do whatever can be done to help you and be supportive. I want you to know that your family is the same way with everyone else, especially to you and Aidan. This won’t ever change or be any less than that for anyone. It may not always seem that way, or feel that way, but no matter what don’t ever believe it. You were born into such a loving, strong, supportive, caring, respectful family. You couldn’t be any more fortunate. The older you get you’ll see it and know it and pass it on as well. You guys have always been very special to me and who I also very highly respect and have a lot of love for. I’ve always appreciated what your parents have been there for and a part of their lives. You will always make everyone proud and smile just looking at you and how incredible you are, and I always will be. I hope to be as close to you as I am for Aidan. You guys mean a lot to me. I promise to always be there to help you, support you, encourage you, be a good and positive, dependable, reliable and trusting friend to you and your family. I also promise to be entertaining and do fun things with you when I see you. I promise not to do the “favorite child" thing with you and Aidan. I will always have fun stuff in my purse for you. If I ever watch you, I promise to take care of you the best I can and respect you and your feelings because you deserve it. I’m normally not such a mushy super sentimental person, but I want You to know who you have in your life as well as the life you are so fortunate to have been born into. I guess it’s a very good overwhelming sort of exciting arrival. It all comes without being able to hold back once it’s no longer arriving, because it becomes a new positive experience, and Joy and addition to people’s lives. It is a great feeling. You’ll see. Hope this means something to you because you and your family do to me!
Xoxo always, Danielle
My deepest condolences to Asher's family! It was an honor to mentor and work alongside such a beautiful soul! You're deeply missed, Asher. Until we meet again, Asher Dasher.
- Beijah, AKA "BigBossBeijing" like Asher used to say lol
Dear Asher's Parents,
I was deeply saddened to hear about the passing of your son. My name is Jaime Dominquez and I am writing to you about what I love about Asher. Asher was a hard-working person, a mentor, and a friend that we all loved in the office. He would light up the room with his smile, dance around, spoke, and perform the best when it came to sales. He was a huge coffee lover and loved to listen to hip-hop music. I remember when I first met Asher and I thought that he had a cool name. I would always call him when I needed help for work. He was a guy we all looked up to. Asher was a great person that I will never forget. He will always be in our hearts. <3
Sincerely,
Jaime Dominguez
So Doggone Lonesome
Gorillaz - Melancholy Hill
