Angela Maria Pilla

Even after all these years I still find this very difficult to write. I miscarried a year before Angela was born at 14 weeks gestation. When Angela was born she was absolutely everything I ever dreamed of. A very beautiful healthy child, only sick once in her short life. I truly don't think there could have been 2 closer people on earth. She was everything to me & the reason I breathed. For some reason I always had a fear of losing her. I was 5 months pregnant with my son when she was killed in the freak accident. A leaf spring from an 18 wheeler came through the windshield of the car her Dad was driving & hit her in the head. Never found the truck. I was at work. They took her by helicopter to Cardinal Glennon Childrens hospital but they said the blow to her head was so massive it wouldn't have mattered if it happened on the steps of the childrens hospital. My son was born 3 months after she died, a month premature from the shock & trauma. Honestly I barely remember his first year of life so he must have been my saving grace, because truly I just wanted to die along with her. It can only be by the grace of God that I have survived all these years without her. She was sooooo excited that she was going to be a big sister, so we named our son the name she picked out. Then we found out his name means a gift from God. A little over 2 years after Angela died we were blessed with another special little baby girl. I have lost many people in my life but there is absolutely nothing that can prepare us for the grief of losing a child. The grief is forever devastating & never ending. Always praying that someday we will all be together.