Angela Lu
148w
A letter to my sister-in-law - Dat
Dearest Fee
Wow, I still feel like this is all a bad nightmare and that I will wake up soon and know that you will be coming back home for your traditional Christmas get away. Remember how after Erwin’s wedding I told you when you come up again we would go to Bon Chon for some Korean fried chicken? Remember how we were exchanging gardening ideas? Who would have thought us gardening? Remember when you told us how you bought your first home and was going back to school? Remember what I texted you? “Congrats Fee!!! You’ve grown up so much. So proud of you. Hopefully we can visit you once all this COVID-19 is all over =)” I forgot to mention that I have always been proud of you. You see, success is not about what you own, how much money you have, what type of educational degree you have. It is measured by how much of an impact you have made on others in a positive manner. With that, you have achieved more success than one can imagine. From taking Raphael to his Senior prom to being your parents “go to,” from filling out forms to buying countless gifts for all the kids during Christmas. That’s to just name a few, but the list can go on. For myself and family in particular though; how you gave my kids genuine and unconditional love. You know how I’m always fearful of receiving big gifts for the kids during Christmas as I knew there would be a lot of construction and screws that would be involved to complete their playhouse or dollhouse. But you would always take that fear away and volunteer to build that playhouse and build that dollhouse. You did it because you knew the big smile and joy they would have the following morning after tackling that tall task all night long by yourself. How about the time you gave me and ate Maan our very first date night. For 3 years we have not done anything without the kids. And then for that one night we got to enjoy watching Ant Man at the movie theaters with just me and Ate Maan. That was such a priceless moment and meant so much to us. Those were the distinct acts of kindness with sincere love that did not go unnoticed and makes me so proud to call you my little sis.
You know what Fee, I honestly felt that you were going to get better. That fateful election night, when I first was made aware of your COVID 19 diagnosis, I was thinking to myself, “Okay, she is going to be hospitalized for a couple of days and get over this and then get to go home.” I seen it happen with my own younger patients treated for COVID 19 and you will be one of them as well. Till this day, I still vividly remember your text, “Am I gonna be okay?” Without hesitation I texted back to you, “Don’t worry you will be okay.” I truly in my heart did not anticipate for you to continue to get worse. I even called you at that moment before you were being placed on the ventilator to reassure you that everything was going to be okay and for you to hear Ayden and Khloe’s voice with encouraging words that you will be fine of which I knew made you cry but I did not want to miss the opportunity to let you know personally that everything was going to be alright.
Both your sister and I were blessed with so many spiritual moments with God during this difficulty time from a glowing rosary to our bedroom light turning on out of no where in the middle of the night to Khloe finding a “God is faithful” coin. They were all interpreted as messages from God that you were going to be okay just as I told you since the beginning. Unfortunately, as your condition worsened, I realized that we were asking the wrong question to God.
We wanted so badly for you to heal and physically get better and overcome this horrible disease, but we understood God had a different plan for you. As much as it pains me to say this, but that plan was for you to be with Him in heaven right now. Where you will be more than okay. You will be safe. You will be happy. You will be looking over us and serve as our guardian angel. And in a way, you will be with us physically still. Although you have established everlasting bonds and friendships while you were away in Wyoming from Lauren to Elizabeth that we are grateful; your body now returns back to California where it belongs. You will forever be with us spiritually with eternal happiness of which you truly deserve and nothing less. Fee, until we meet again, please say hi to my Dad for me. We love you so much and you will never be forgotten.
Dat
Angela Lu
148w
A letter to my sister
Read at her viewing:
My dearest Fee,
You're actually probably very surprised that I'm even up here saying something, but I didn't want to miss this last opportunity to talk to you. Before you got placed on the ventilator, Dat and the kids were able to say a few words to you and hear your voice for the last time. I let my emotions get in the way and was not able to do it in which I regret till this day, so I knew I had to do this. As far back as I can remember, you have been very close to me. We shared so many great memories from going bowling, to watching movies, to snow trips, to family vacations. When I went away for college, you still managed to hang out with me by visiting me at my apartment. This went on for many years after...you would always take the time to visit me. Then I had kids and you showed them such an incredible amount of love that you've shown me. Everytime you visited California, you always made sure to spend half of your trip with us and that meant so much to me. At times when you had no ride up, I would make you take that Thunder Valley bus up here, which you hated, but did it anyways because of how much you loved us. I never got a chance to tell you that those days that you spend with us were so special and I've always looked forward to them. Then when it was time for you to leave, you would give us all a hug and start to cry and I would try to put up a strong act, but as soon as I close that door, my tears would fall. If doing that was already hard, how do I even find the strength to say my final goodbye to you now? I would no longer be able to text you about random things, getting recipes or finding bargains. My life would never be the same, Christmas would never be the same.
One silver lining with this whole tragedy is that it had brought me closer to God. During your battle with COVID, I prayed multiple times a day for God to heal you and protect you and when you kept getting worse, I started praying that he grant us this one miracle. It was during these times that he showed me some divine signs that made my faith so much stronger and gave me so much hope. But as you kept getting worse and the odds kept stacking against you, with the grace of God I wanted to let you know that it was ok to let go.
Thank you for giving us all a chance to say our goodbye to you before letting go. Although my miracle didn't happen, I whole heartedly believe that God had a better plan for you, unfortunately just not physically with us anymore. You're body is home now in SF Fee, just like how you always wanted. We will never forget you, we will always think of you, we will always pray for you and we will always visit you. Thank you for being the best sister and I want you to know that I am very proud of the woman you became. Please continue to be a part of my life from up there and watch over us always. I love you more than you know. Rest easy and I will give you the biggest hug when I see you again. Love always, Ate Maan (Angela)
Angela Lu
148w
Playhouse
Read at the viewing:
Thank you ninang cheche for building our play house. - Jennalyn
Angela Lu
148w
Dollhouse
Read at her Viewing:
Thank you for building our doll house - Khloe
Marybelle Tolentino
148w
A letter to my sister (Eulogy)
Read at her funeral:
As many of you know, my name is Marybelle. Michelle was my big sister, my best friend, my sunshine... she was also my biggest supporter, the person that checked on me every day, my protector, but more importantly, she was the only person I knew who constantly and selflessly extended herself to others. Especially to those she loved.
Michelle was the best person to grow up with. Growing up, we shared a room and even a bunk bed together. I remember she would play her Mariah Carey playlist every morning as she got ready for work as I pretended to still be sleeping. And as soon as she would leave, I would jumpy out of bed, put her playlist on again and experiment with her make up. I remember always wanting to be just like her. She was even the reason I became a cheerleader in high school. Because I remember her taking me to cheer practices, buying me McDonalds and letting me sit on the bleachers to watch. Although she was the smallest, she was always the loudest on the team.
One of the greatest things I will treasure about our sisterhood is the matching tattoo I got with her. We both got a tattoo of a canoe rowing against the waves. To signify that no matter what obstacles we face in life, we will continue to weather the storm together. As sisters. Although she isn't here anymore, I know she'll still be rowing that boat with me through life.
Michelle was the type of person who dropped everything she was doing during your time of need. She was always SO overprotective. Every time we were in the store waiting in line or shopping and someone would accidentally bump into me without apologizing, Michelle would make the person say sorry. Every. Single. Time. Being the shy girl I was, I was always so embarrassed. But knew there was no one else like her. That girl would let absolutely no one come between us. She would always put herself in front of me in every situation to protect me, and I've always loved her for it. She was also the one who reminded you to aim for the stars when you dream. I remember she was the person I told when I was thinking about applying to law school. I told her I didn't think I could do it but she said "you can do anything you set your mind to sis!!" and asked if there was a law school in CO so that I could be closer to her. She was the one who taught me to start doing tings for myself more, and less for others. Those who knew Michelle knew that she was never the type to fit into the mold that society has made for us. She did life at her own pace and was never sorry about it.
Michelle, while you were in the hospital, I was at my lowest point. It was then that I turned to God for comfort, understanding and strength. I've never prayed so hard and so much in my life. Praying that he would heal you, and promising him that we would take good care of you when you woke up. I cannot explain the spiritual journey I went though while you were in the hospital. I saw signs, I felt God's presence, I knew he was listening. And I know that because how long you fought for us. Throughout the past month, not only did I get closer to God, but we got closer as a family. Not only did we pray as a family, we cried as a family. And although it was all through zoom, each time I saw everyone's name show up at the beginning of each meeting, my heart was so full. Although you were fighting for your life, you still managed to bring our family closer together. Even though we never got the miracle healing we had prayed for, I know in mt heart that God was with you the whole time. Holding you tight in his arms as you both weathered the storm together. And with each breath you took, he was right there, breathing with you. For reasons I may never understand, I trust that he had a plan for you. I'm just thankful that he gave you the strength to hold on until we said our final goodbyes. I know that when your final moments of life were happening, he held you tight in his loving arms and said you were ok to let go. I will continue to strengthen my relationship with God, because without him, I don't know how I would've gotten through that.
Michelle, although it breaks my heart to say goodbye, I will always remember you and the memories we've shared. I'll always remember your love for boba and wingstop. Your in-n-out order, #2 with tomatoes, no onions, a side of animal fries, extra in-n-out sauce and a cup of water. I'll always remember the way you lit up a room with your infectious laugh and beautiful smile. The nurturing touch you had with every child you met. And of course, how you always came home for the holidays. And how every time you went home, you would take papa's car and drive around the bay area to make sure you spent time with everyone. Sometimes I was fortunate enough to get just two hours with you. Michelle, although we won't be able to see you again for Christmas, I know that you still be there with us in spirit. Watching us the day we're able to gather again at Kuya Jhun's house. Laughing at us when we play our silly Christmas games. And smiling whenever we think of you.
Forgive me sis, I'm still having a hard time accepting the fact that you're gone. After hearing so many stories about you, and reflecting back on your life, I've realized that you were truly a walking angel here on earth. You were kind to everyone you met. And when you loved someone, you loved them hard. You brought people together and opened your heart to everyone who came in your path. You brought people together and opened your heart to everyone who came in your path. And you always forgave. And that is something I will never forget about you. I know that God called you home early because he knew that a soul like yours didn't deserve to feel another day of pain.
So, although your time here was cut short, I truly because that in all the years you've lived, you gave more love than any person would give in a lifetime. I'm just sorry that we weren't able to celebrate your 30th birthday together. I'm sorry that you'll never be able to see me get married one day and have children of my own. I'm sorry that you won't be able to watch me grow up. Although you won't be here physically, I know you'll still be sitting front row for everything. In every aspect of our lives. Whether it's during Khloe and Jennalyn's dance recital, or the day Mikayla graduates high school, or seeing where Mark will end up five years from now (cause we always tried to guess what his next move was in life), I know you'll be right there with us, smiling.
Before we lay you to rest, I just want to say thank you. Thank for you for teaching me how to extend my hand to others. To be more kind. To say "I love you" more. To travel more. To laugh more. And most importantly, to do what makes me happy in life. Because life is so short.
And I promise to carry on your legacy. I promise to help the parents with their paperwork. I promise to check for spelling or grammar errors before papa makes a post on Facebook. I promise to take a good shopping deal if I see one. I promise to spoil the kids with even more love and affection. And I promise to keep trying to be a better version of myself.
Michelle, you were the best big sister a girl could ever ask for in life. I am going to miss you every single day, but I know that you're watching down on us right now, with a boba in your hand. I love you sis. I can't wait for the day I get to hug you again.
Love,
Your Baby Sister
Angela Lu
149w
A letter to my Ninang Cheche
Read at her viewing:
Dear Ninang Cheche,
I can't believe you are my Ninang. You got me everything that I wanted. When my mom and dad went for a date you took care of us while we were at home. I love you so much. I am going to miss you. You will always be in my heart.
Love, Ayden
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