Mary Lou Swaim

Mary Lou Barrett was born on November 8, 1941 and grew up in Holly Springs, N.C. She graduated from Appalachian State Teacher’s College in 1964, where she met her future husband, Gerald, playing ping pong at the Rec Center where he worked. She received her Masters of Education from the University of Virginia in 1979, completing courses at night with two young children at home.

She married Lloyd Gerald Swaim on July 31, 1965, in Holly Springs, N.C. and after a honeymoon trip cross country in a 1963 Mercury Meteor, moved to Fredericksburg when Gerald was offered his first teaching job and the opportunity to start a wrestling program at Spotsylvania High School. In addition to her own responsibilities, she was a committed coach’s wife, serving as a surrogate mom to his wrestlers and spending many hours attending high school matches and games across the region for the Spotsylvania Knights and Courtland Cougars.

During the summers, she organized family boating and camping trips to Lake Anna, most often with long-time friends, George and Agnes Carroll, and enjoyed visiting her Uncle Alf Johnson at his beach cottage in North Carolina and spending holidays in Valdese, N.C. at her Aunt Lillian Johnson Brinkley’s home.

After 30 years as educators, Mary Lou and Gerald greatly enjoyed their retirement, spending as much time as possible at their second home in Sunset Beach, N.C. Mary Lou treasured sitting on the beach to listen to the waves and “people watch,” and going to concerts at the Alabama Theatre. Her favorite spot in the world was on the front porch of their Sandpiper beach cottage. The Mary Lou Swaim “Little Free Library,” constructed by her son Tim, now stands on 37th Street where it’s easy to sit on that porch and watch visitors delight at the donated books they find.

Mary Lou and Gerald shared adventures around the U.S. and abroad, often with their friends of more than 50 years, Mary Sandra and Garnet Campbell and Bob and Becky Daniel. She accompanied Gerald across the southern U.S. as he played in Senior Softball tournaments, cheering him on as he hit the game-winning homerun or won the Most Valuable Player award.

When home, they spent time doting on their grandchildren, attending every recital, game, graduation, swim lesson, and special event they could. Mary Lou reliably remembered and celebrated birthdays, and for many years ordered custom birthday cakes for the grandchildren from Paul’s Bakery, a tradition started when Tim and Stephanie were little.

Mary Lou was tiny in stature, but her spirit made her the strongest person many of us will ever know. She was a devoted caregiver to Gerald as his dementia progressed and she had visited him for lunch every day for the past year at Hughes Home. Her consistent and unconditional love, dedication, and drive were an inspiration to many of the residents and staff there, her family members, friends, and neighbors.

Mary Lou loved to “sit and visit” for a while. No matter how long you stayed, she couldn’t get enough and would invariably implore you not to “rush off.” Even when she was very weak and having trouble finding words, on one of her last visits with her daughter Stephanie she managed to say: “I hate to see you go.” Now, we are the ones left to say: “We really hate to see you go.”

She is survived by her husband of 57 years, Gerald Swaim; daughter Stephanie Swaim; son Tim Swaim (Kimberly); grandchildren Andrea and Bobby Kaniecki and Kendall and Avery Swaim; sister Sarah Schaeffer; and many special nieces and nephews.

A memorial service will be held at 11 a.m. on Saturday, July 15, 2023, at Salem Baptist Church.

In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to Salem Baptist Church (4044 Plank Road, Fredericksburg, VA, 22407).