Edward Dad Joseph Rao

Edward Rao was a devoted family man, a father of four children, and a lifetime Bergen county resident who was loved by all who knew him. He was the epitome of a good hearted man. He faced many battles in his life but he always led with love. He valued his children above all else and made sure to raise them with an unwavering love and faith in themselves that he instilled daily. He worked tirelessly to be the best man, father, friend and person he could be and he accomplished so much in his life cut so tragically short. He built up a landscaping and snowplowing company, worked in real estate, was a stay at home Dad, and no matter what was going on, he ALWAYS had time for his kids. He was the class parent, was at every game and event, he was with us to do homework and to tuck us in at bedtime when it was his night. My Dad cooked for us and jumped through hoops to get me to eat with my picky appetite. He had us laughing constantly and made life such fun. He enjoyed our childhood and I will forever carry that with me. He was one of a kind. To know him, was to love him. When I got the call.. my world shattered and I didn't know how I could go on. I was a new mother to a 10month old baby boy and my Dad had just become a Grandpa. He was struggling at the time but he always came through his struggles. He'd had two open heart surgeries to replace his aortic valve-once when I was a baby and once in my teens. So I thought this struggle he was going through would be no different, it was just taking a bit longer to sort out. I thought my Dad was infallible, that he'd always be here and that for sure we'd have more time. I just knew he'd be ok, I mean he was my rock in life so he had to be. But on 9/24/18 I got the call that still catches the air in my throat and sickens my stomach to think about. I still don't want to believe it's real and some days, I still can't. I was told he was gone... I had been asleep with my baby boy in my arms and shock and terror and confusion overtook me. There was no way this could be right. Someone made a mistake, my entire body shook with fear and panic and denial and insisted this wasn't true. I refused this reality because I couldn't comprehend it, I still find it hard to choke down. My life is before and after. Something snapped that night inside me that I can't explain, but it can't be undone, there's a certain level of pain that will just never go away and while in the beginning it literally felt like every second I was being suffocated under this boulder of hell and I couldn't bear it, it eased over time. Eventually I smiled again, I found some joy again, I did life again but I never went back to the same me again. I will always feel like something's missing because I feel I lost such an important person in my life that night, maybe part of me went with my Dad.. sudden tragic loss is so horrible it's something I thought only happened to other people. I never thought it could touch me and the new found respect and understanding I have of grief and pain is huge. I can relate to people in ways I never could have before and truly empathize with large groups of people in these awful "clubs" of loss that no one wants to be a part of yet here we find ourselves, at least not alone. Before I thought I understood what loss meant but now I'm still trying to comprehend it. My Dad's loss sent shock waves through my life.. I think it'll always be like this but I do know that good has come also. I carry all the best parts of my Dad and what an amazingly loving father he was to me growing up into all I do with my children. I share all I love about him with my son and daughter and he lives on through me.