Juan Saldivar Sr.

Leslie saldivar 153w

My whole world

Mi Tata era me mundo entero desde que era bebé. He is my whole world since I was a baby they told me I would crawl all the way to his room when my momma used to like at their old house on vagas I lived with him and grandma most of my early years and I remember always thinking that I would live with them forever I would tell Tata that I didn’t want to go home because I loved them too much eventually I had to start school but even then I stayed living with them I remember coming on weekends and seeing him go to work I would wait up with abuela till 1-2 in the morning so that we could eat and watch desmadrugados together then every Sunday. Wake up early for church put on a matching outfit with him and abuela and we would go in the same color afterwards we would go eat Chinese food or Taco Bell what ever Tata would choose they would then take me to the dollar store to get me a little toy or something Tata defiantly loved spoiling his grandkids lol as I grew up I kept going over to their house on weekends and summers I remember that somedays when life wasn’t exactly the best at home I would call him to pick me up in a random school night and he would drop everything and come get me he’d get me some food and let everything blow over at home before taking me back he was my safe space his hugs where the best his laughter was contagious his joke corny but I had the same sense of humor he’s the one who taught me how to use a knife he taught me how to care for those around you (I used to see him give money to the homeless) and I trusted his judgement on people even when I was older and came out as bisexual to him he looked me right in the eyes and told me he always knew and that it was ok that I was gonna be ok he made me feel like no matter what I would always have someone on my side even if they world was against me he would always be there eventually when I met my now husband I had wanted them too meet and I thought if my grandpa don’t like him he ain’t the one after they met Tata and abuela sat down with me and said he was perfect and that I should marry him one day I laughed and told them maybe one day and sadly mi tata could not make it to my wedding day but I know he was happy that I ended up with the one he approved of and even though he told me to change my last name when I got married I will not because I remember as a child arguing with him that I will forever be a saldivar because he was the most important person in my life he is my whole world I used to believe I would die without him and my abuela and if it wasn’t for my husband and the whole family I probably would have Te extraño mi mariachi loco en el cielo Sinceramente tu hormiguita tu niña bonita

He made my life better.

I will forever be greatful for my Grandfather for stepping up and taking the Father role to raise me since I was born. He earned the Father title in my life, a title that he was so greatful for. He didn't just raise me, but he also showed me the best of love I could've ever hoped for. He provided everything I ever needed growing up. He taught me how to hustle since I was a little kid. It started by selling corn in the streets and also fruit. Not only did I see him everyday hustle in the streets, but he also worked at a warehouse and was also a Mariachi. I remember helping him record alot of songs in his room with a tape recorder. I remember watching novelas and recording them. I also remember every night when he would come home from being a Mariachi all night around 3 am he would bring home Taco Bell and I would be up waiting for him. When he would get home, I would take his boots off and his socks and we would eat our tacos. He would actually get me crunchy tacos and he would eat the top where the lettuce was and I would eat the bottom which was only the meat lol. He taught me to hustle hard. He taught me to love hard. He showed me affection with his hugs. He taught me how to drive when I was like 12 years old at a old warehouse parking lot where he worked. He ment the world to me. He's the only person who ever loved me unconditionally. He would always say I want to die first because I couldn't imagine my life with you. And I would say I would die if I didn't have him. But I didn't die, only because he prepared me months before he passed, I cried for weeks before he even left. I prepared myself for a long time for the worst. He taught me that I had to keep on living for my family because they needed me. He said I've taught you everything so you can survive and now I can leave in peace knowing you'll be okay. Little did he know that a part of me left that day. I will forever miss MY DAD. I will forever thank God for putting him in my life. I will forever cherish the memories. One memory that I'll never forget is every year on my birthday he would bring me serenata with Mariachi. One thing forsure that everyone knows is that he loved his negrita. I will forever remember how he would give me money by hiding it between his fingers so Noone would notice. He always tried to take care of me even when I was already taking care of myself. He would say I'm your Dad I'm going to take care of you until I die, and he did. I loved my Dad si much just looking at his picture I'll cry for a while. I wish I woulda had more time with him but he was tired already and I had to let him go even tho it was going to hurt like hell. I will forever keep his memory alive. I love you so much Apa, I miss you so much. Until we meet again. - Tu Tana, Tu Negrita, Tu Nana Chachita Tu Mera Mama