Marilyn Sue Berroth

This beautiful woman was taken away from us all too early, she suffered tremendously but she always kept a smile on her face. Mom said, “The doctors all told me some people like to know in advance when they are going to die so they can make amends – I have no amends to make because we all never fight.” Well Mom fought “ALS-Louie” for many years and during that time she got to receive a fraction of the love and devotion that she gave each of us in our daily lives. We were able to feed her, bathe her, take her to church, and we were able to wipe her tears.

Here we had a woman that couldn’t stand, couldn’t scratch her nose, walk, eat, or talk, but with Dad’s help all the way up to the last few weeks she was able to go to the Casino’s and play the slots. You all wonder I am sure how she could do that so let me say it’s amazing the items you invent when a loved one has such an infliction.

Dad invented the “Gambling Rod”, a device she could hook onto the slot machine to press the spin button. Mom said, in one of her letters, that when Dad took her to the casino she just loved it, he always made it fun. He would push her wheelchair straight-and then make a sharp turn that would almost toss her. It reminded her of a roller coaster! Their casino trips were the most fun Mom could still have.

We also had “The Horns”; we had to have a way for Mom to get us if we were not in the room so we started with a little toot horn and worked our way up to an air horn. More times than I can count Mom used the horns just to scare the hell out of us when our backs were turned just so she could laugh at our reaction.

Mom always tried to keep us in line as a family, especially in front of Billy “Bill” and Jenny. She tried to keep us as close to proper as possible and make us appear educated and refined. But when this family gets together its like a re-run of the “Beverly Hill Billie’s”. Somehow the conversation always went into the toilet! How many families sit around at Thanksgiving and talk about bowel movements? She would always turn to Dad and yell “Ernie!” as if it were his fault. But we all knew better.

Let me read a letter that Joseph Black, my grandfather and Mom’s father, wrote in the winter of 1962 to his son Norman, Mom’s brother and his wife Dot.

“Norm – Dot – Mary.

You are the kids. Mom always uses this term when speaking of you. Did you write to the kids? When are you going to write to the kids? Why don’t you write to the kids? Well I always want to but not always in the mood to write and then again there are things sometimes you don’t want to write about. Like the instance I am talking about. You see, my dears, sometimes things happen without warning, situations arise that are not of your creation, decisions that have to be made in a hurry without benefit of consultation, actions taken results of which are permanent and irreparable. When a condition is discovered that is threatening life and limb, when an existing situation involves impending danger to life and limb then something must be done to prevent it regardless of the grief it may cause. You can’t take any chances, that is why operations are performed. Of course you are sorry when it affects a friend but when it concerns your own flesh and blood, when it’s your very own you have to make final decisions about then the whole thing takes on a different aspect. You two, having been in the Navy, know best how hard it is and how brave you must be to judge situations properly, situations affecting others and execute the final judgment. Such was the case in Wilton and Ernest was the brave one. He was the judge, jury, and executioner. The legs has to be cut off so he did and now Steve’s “CRIB” is level with the floor. A mattress is on the floor beside it. They figured one broken collarbone is too much. I think it is all healed by now.

You would think that after going through the above one might get a nervous condition or a bothered conscience but not Ernest. He wound up in the hospital with a sore ass, was operated on yesterday and is feeling better today---won’t be able to sit comfortably for a while. It took him a long time to decide to do the right thing in this case. He’ll be fine soon and everything will be in its groove again.

The matter with Ernie?

Hemorrhoids on a rampage.

Give my love to Mary

Love

Dad”

Well Mom – that being said I am sorry to say that it’s in the blood and you were as much the cause as you were the solution.

It has now been nine days since your passing and what a nine days it has been for everyone. You told all of us kids to keep an eye on Dad and we have. On Friday I even had Dad come to Cardiff and we went out to lunch. After we were done Dad said, “I love you all but give me some space – you’re crowding me!” I looked to the Heavens and said, “Mom – we are trying.” That same day Bill tells me that I need to go to Confession if I plan to take Communion at the service – so on Saturday night at 6:30pm I walk in the Confessional for the first time in 27 years. The Priest was very understanding and we seemed to spend a lot of time on the 6th Commandment, but the topic of movie rights never came up.

As I left the Church and the Confessional I hear on the radio that the fires in the hills seem to have gotten ten times worse – I am hoping it was just a coincidence.

So that brings me to Sunday and I am sitting on the floor with the TV going trying to do justice to the eulogy and there is a knock on the door. Next thing I hear is “Steve, it’s your dad!!” It seems Dad took a drive to see how close the fires were and while he was out they closed the road and started to evacuate the Ramona Country Estates. So here is the man that felt crowded, that needed his space, standing once again on my doorstep!

Being the loving, caring, constantly giving son that I am I take him in, this evacuated soul. I get him a toothbrush, towel, mouthwash, a bar of soap, and tell him to just make himself at home. Use the shower; use the Jacuzzi – whatever he wants. I go about my business but after 30 minutes I wonder where he is and go to check on him. Where is he? I find him playing the role of Jed Clampet in the cement pond. He is in my new Jacuzzi, with a bar, of soap taking a bath!!

Well the day just got better after that, Bill, Debbie, Bill and Jenny get evacuated and arrive next. For two days my house is a hotel! Thank God they were able to keep the fire away from Karen’s house, but her phone calls every 30 minutes made it seem as though she were there. You got your wish and we are keeping a close eye on each other. “Now we all need our space, but even for me it was fun!”

In closing Mom I just want to say you really did it. You got us all dressed nice and in Church together as a family again.

We will miss your bright eyes and sweet smile.

We will miss your kinds words and sense of humor.

We will miss your advice, asked for or not.

We will miss the conversations even when you couldn’t talk.

We will miss the sharing of ideas.

And you will be missed in our daily lives.

But – you will never be missed in our hearts, our thoughts, our prayers and you will always be seen in the way we treat other people with love and caring.

Rest in peace Mom, Louie can’t bother you anymore.

Steven Berroth