How to write an obituary

For families who need to write an obituary soon and are not sure where to start. You will get a simple order to follow, a fill-in template, two sample obituaries and a checklist to read before you publish.

Writing an obituary usually happens in the hardest week of a family's life, often with a funeral home deadline close behind. The good news is that an obituary has a simple shape. Once you know the order, most of the work is filling in facts and choosing a few details that sound like the person you love.

This guide walks through each part, gives you a template you can copy, and shows two sample obituaries of different lengths so you can pick the style that fits your family.

What an obituary needs to include

Most obituaries cover the same five things, in roughly this order. You do not have to include every item, but readers expect to find these.

1. The announcement. Full name (including a nickname or maiden name if people knew them by it), age, city, and the date they died. Many families also say where they died, such as at home or surrounded by family.
2. The life story. Birth date or year and birthplace, parents, schooling, military service, work, marriage, faith and community. This is where their personality comes through.
3. Family. Who survives them (spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings) and who died before them.
4. Service information. Funeral, visitation, burial or celebration of life: date, time and address. If services are private, say so.
5. Closing requests. Donations to a cause they cared about, a thank you to caregivers or hospice staff, or a link to an online memorial where people can share memories.

Step by step: writing it in one sitting

1. Gather the facts first

Before you write a single sentence, collect the details in one place. Ask a sibling or older relative to check what you are unsure of. Spelling of names, especially grandchildren and in-laws, is where most corrections come from.

• Full legal name, nickname and maiden name
• Age, birth year or date, and birthplace
• Date and place of death
• Parents' names
• Spouse, and marriage year if you want to include it
• Children and their spouses, grandchildren, great-grandchildren
• Siblings, living and deceased
• Schools, work, military service, church or clubs
• Service date, time and location
• Preferred charity for donations

2. Decide how long it will be

If the obituary will run in a newspaper, ask the funeral home or the paper how they charge. Many newspapers charge by length or by line, and a photo can cost extra, so a short print version and a longer online version is a common choice. Online memorial pages usually have no length limit, so you can tell the whole story there.

3. Write the opening line

The opening line carries the essential news. A simple pattern works well: name, age, city, and when they died. For example: "Margaret Ellen Hayes, 84, of Springfield, passed away peacefully at home on March 3, surrounded by her family." You can say "died" or "passed away". Both are fine. Use the words your family uses.

4. Tell their story with a few specific details

This is the heart of the obituary. Rather than listing every job and address, pick the two or three things people will recognize right away. Did she make the best pie at every church supper? Did he coach Little League for twenty years? Did they never miss a grandchild's game? One true, specific detail says more than a paragraph of general praise.

Ask each family member for one memory or one phrase that sums them up. Even if only two make it into the final draft, you will have a list of stories to share at the service or on a memorial page.

5. List family members in a clear order

The usual order is spouse, then children (oldest to youngest, with their spouses in parentheses), then grandchildren and great-grandchildren, then parents and siblings. Then list the people who died before them, often introduced with "She was preceded in death by". Keep the format the same all the way through so it reads easily.

6. Add service details and requests

Give the full name and address of the church, funeral home or venue, with the day, date and time. If you have a celebration of life instead of a traditional funeral, say what kind of gathering it is so guests know what to expect. End with any request about flowers or donations, and a thank you if you want one.

A fill-in obituary template

Copy this and replace the words in brackets. Delete any line that does not fit your family.

Two sample obituaries

A short obituary for print

A longer obituary for an online memorial

Keep the family safe: what to leave out

Obituaries are public, and some details can help identity thieves or tell strangers when a home will be empty. State consumer offices, such as Massachusetts and New York, suggest a few simple precautions.

• Use the birth year or age instead of the full birth date.
• Do not include the mother's maiden name if it could be used as a security answer. If you want to honor her, you can mention it in a less obvious way or only on a private page.
• Leave out the home street address and Social Security number, of course.
• Think about asking a neighbor or friend to stay at the house during the funeral, since the service time is published.

Where to publish it

Most families share the obituary in more than one place. The funeral home usually posts it on its website and can send it to local newspapers. You can also post it on social media and on a free online memorial, where friends can add photos and stories over time. You can browse examples by state, town and cemetery on our obituaries pages.

If you are also preparing for the service, the same facts you gathered here make a funeral program quick to put together. Many families print the obituary inside the program.

Before you publish: a final checklist

• Every name is spelled correctly and in the same format
• Dates, ages and times have been checked by a second person
• Service address is complete and correct
• Nobody close to them has been left out of the family list
• The tone sounds like them
• No exact birth date, home address or other sensitive details
• The donation organization name is correct

An obituary does not have to be perfect to be meaningful. Once it is written, you can start a free memorial and invite family and friends to add their own photos and memories. More guides for families are on our guides page.

Common questions