Veteran headstone and burial benefits: what families can get and how to ask

For families planning a funeral or a grave marker for someone who served. Here is what the VA and the military provide at no cost, who qualifies, which forms to use, and the order to do things in.

When someone who served dies, the family is often told there are veterans benefits, but not told what they are or who to call. The good news is that most of them are free, and the funeral home can start several of them for you. The harder part is knowing what to ask for and having the right paperwork ready.

This guide walks through each benefit in plain words, with links to the official pages at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA). Rules and amounts change, so always confirm the details on va.gov before you apply.

Start here: find the discharge papers

Nearly every benefit below asks for proof of service. For most veterans that is the DD Form 214, the record given when they left active duty. Look in a fire safe, a file cabinet, a safe deposit box or a framed shadow box. Some veterans also recorded their DD 214 with the county recorder's office.

• DD Form 214 or other discharge papers
• Full name, date of birth and Social Security number of the veteran
• Branch of service and dates of service
• Death certificate (the funeral home can usually get copies)
• Name and contact details of the cemetery

If you cannot find the DD 214, tell the funeral director right away. Funeral homes and county veterans service officers request military records often and can help you get a copy.

Military funeral honors

Eligible veterans can receive military funeral honors at the service. According to Military OneSource, the minimum is a detail of at least two service members who play Taps, fold the flag and present it to the family. Families never have to pay for military funeral honors.

• How to ask: families request honors through their funeral director, who contacts the right military branch.
• When to ask: as early as you can. At least 48 hours ahead is recommended.
• What you need: the discharge papers, so the military can confirm eligibility.
• Who qualifies: in general, veterans who left service under honorable conditions, and members who died on active duty. Some reservists also qualify.

A burial flag

A United States flag can drape the casket or accompany the urn, then be given to the family. You apply with VA Form 27-2008, and you can get the flag from the funeral director, a VA regional office or most U.S. post offices. It is wise to call the post office ahead. The VA notes that it cannot replace a burial flag that is later lost or damaged, so many families keep it in a flag case.

A free headstone, marker or medallion

This is the benefit families ask about most. The VA offers three options, and which one fits depends on whether the grave already has a headstone.

If the grave is unmarked

The VA provides a government headstone or marker at no cost for the unmarked grave of an eligible veteran, anywhere in the world. That includes private and family cemeteries, not only national cemeteries. You apply with VA Form 40-1330. If the burial is in a VA national cemetery, the cemetery handles the headstone and you do not need to apply separately.

If the grave already has a private headstone

Many families buy their own headstone, often a shared one for a husband and wife. In that case the VA can provide either a government headstone or marker for the same grave (for veterans who died on or after November 1, 1990), or a small bronze VA medallion that attaches to the private headstone and shows the person served. You apply for the medallion with VA Form 40-1330M. The cemetery must approve the size and sign the form, and the VA sends a kit for attaching it.

Ask the cemetery about their rules and any setting fees before you order. Private cemeteries may charge to place a government marker, and some limit sizes or materials.

What goes on a government headstone

Government headstones include standard details such as the veteran's name, branch of service and years of birth and death. Families can usually choose an emblem of belief and add a short personal line where space allows. The VA lists the approved emblems and inscription rules on its National Cemetery Administration site, so check those before you decide on wording.

Burial in a VA national cemetery

Eligible veterans can be buried in a VA national cemetery at no cost to the family. A spouse or surviving spouse, even one who remarried after the veteran's death, and minor children may also be eligible, and in some cases an unmarried adult dependent child. Former spouses who are not veterans are not eligible.

A veteran who wants to plan ahead can ask the VA for a pre-need eligibility decision with VA Form 40-10007. It answers the question "can I be buried in a national cemetery?" before it is needed, which can save the family time later. It does not cover Arlington National Cemetery or state veterans cemeteries, which have their own rules.

Burial allowance and other money help

The VA may help pay for burial and funeral costs through a veterans burial allowance. Depending on the situation it can include a burial allowance, a plot or interment allowance, and help with transportation to a national cemetery. You apply with VA Form 21P-530EZ.

• The amounts depend on the date of death and on whether the death was related to military service, and they change every year on October 1. Check the VA page for the current numbers.
• There is a time limit to apply in many cases. For a death not related to service, the VA generally asks for the claim within two years.
• A surviving spouse who is already on file with the VA may be paid automatically, without applying.

A Presidential Memorial Certificate

A Presidential Memorial Certificate is an engraved paper certificate signed by the current president, honoring the veteran's service. It is sent automatically after a national cemetery burial. For burial in a private cemetery, family members or close friends can request one, or several copies, with VA Form 40-0247.

A simple order to follow

1. Find the DD 214 and gather the documents in the checklist above.
2. Tell the funeral director the person was a veteran. Ask them to request military funeral honors and a burial flag.
3. Decide on the cemetery. If you are considering a national cemetery, ask the funeral director to contact it now.
4. After the service, apply for the headstone, marker or medallion if the cemetery does not handle it.
5. Apply for the burial allowance and a Presidential Memorial Certificate.
6. Keep copies of every form you send, with the date you sent it.

If any step feels like too much, a county veterans service officer or an accredited veterans service organization can help with the forms for free.

Telling their story, not only their service

A government headstone holds a name, a rank and a few dates. The rest of the story, where they served, the friends they made, the life they built after, needs another home. Many families share it in the obituary (our guide on how to write an obituary can help), in the funeral program, and on an online memorial where fellow veterans and family can add photos and memories.

Some families also add a Turning Hearts medallion to the headstone. It is different from the bronze VA medallion: it does not show military service on its own, but when someone scans it with a phone camera at the grave, it opens the veteran's memorial page with their photos and story. Check with the cemetery first, as you would for any item on a headstone.

Let their story live at the grave

A Turning Hearts medallion on the headstone lets anyone visiting scan it with a phone and read their life story, see photos and leave a memory.

See the medallion

Common questions